Shadows and Regrets
by omgwho.amiagain
Summary: Mikan acts happy and bubbly, but because of something that happened with Hotaru, she became really cold. Then Luna comes along and Hotaru runs away. It gets even more complicated, when the gang finds out who Luna really is, but no one will believe them.
1. Prologue

Summary -

Story Name - Shadows and Regrets

Rating- T

Mikan is a happy and bubbly person, full of energy, everyone thinks. But that's not the truth. After an argument with Hotaru, she's never the same again. Then she meets the new girl, Koizumi Luna, who becomes her new best friend. But in reality, Mikan only begins to act like Luna's servant. What will happen? Will she find out what Luna is really after her for? Will she be able to look past the lies and betrayal and be able to forgive Hotaru? What happens when the gang finds out who Luna really is, and no one will believe them? Will she be able to see Luna's jealousy as she becomes Natsume's girlfriend? Will they last? Betrayal. Loneliness. Hurt. Need. Hope. and at last...will there be happiness in the end? Read to find out.

**Disclaimer- I do not own Gakuen Alice. **

"Hey minna! Want to go to Central Town?" Mikan exclaimed, excitedly.

In reality, she really didn't want to go at all but knew she had to keep up her bubbly façade, for no one was to know what had happened that night.

Natsume, Ruka-pyon, Koko, Permy, Youchi, Anna, Yuu, Nonoko, and Mikan all skipped happily off to Central Town, with the exception of Natsume and Youchi lagging behind and Ruka being immersed in his animals. Mikan ran directly for the Howalon stand, although she really didn't feel like eating any of it. She hadn't, since that night. You might be wondering why Hotaru wasn't going to Central Town with the rest of them. After all, Hotaru **was** Mikan's best friend, right?

Flashback –

"_Hotaru, Hotaru, Hotaru! Look what I got!" Mikan squealed while jumping up and down, holding some shiny thing. _

_Hotaru said nothing. _

_Within the midst of all Mikan's squealing and saying stuff like best friends, Hotaru replied in the iciest voice ever. _

"_What do you mean, __**best friends**__? Did I ever say we were? Don't ever speak to me __**again. **__I don't want to hear your annoying voice in my face again, and I don't have the time to baka-gun you all the time. You hear me? You're annoying. Go away. " _

_Mikan's confidence was fully dropped. She slowly walked away, immediately crashing on her bed when she got to her room. _

"Why would she do something like that? I really, really, thought we were best friends. As it turns out, I'm a fool. I'm so naïve and always assume. Look where that got me. Well I'm not going to be fooled any longer. I'll stay away from her. I'm going to become strong, and cold so no one can hurt me anymore."

End Flashback –

"Hey Mikan. Mikannn! Earth to Mikan. Hellooo?"

"I'm okay Anna." She replied quietly.

Everyone wondered why Mikan was so quiet. There was an awkward silence as everyone stared.

Mikan wondered why they were all staring at her, and then remembered.

"Shit, I blew it," she thought.

"Come on, minna! Let's go to this store! It looks really fun in there!" she shouted, reverting back to 'bubbly self'.

That night, after the trip to Central Town-

If anyone saw Mikan in her room after the trip to Central Town, they would be shocked, seriously wondering if someone had kidnapped Mikan and put a quiet clone in her place.

The wind billowed all around making noises on this dark night, making her white bedroom curtains swish and swash. Mikan trembled in the cold, huddling under her blankets. The night was dark with the full moon being its only illumination. Life was cruel; it was evil; it was horrible; yet there were some good things, she knew. But no one cared. No one cared what she thought. No one cared about her troubles. No one really knew her. No one. No one. No one. She had no family left. Ojii-san had died; she had received a letter in the mail yesterday. Her friends-well all they knew was the bubbly and happy Mikan. That was the only kind of Mikan they liked. And due to certain circumstances, she just couldn't be that Mikan anymore.

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**Thank you all for reading!**** How was it? Please review. I know it's a rather short one, but I liked the way it ended. 5 reviews before I start working on it. Please Review! Pleasseeeee! Cookies for those who review! **

**Next chapter - Hotaru's POV**

**Ja ne! **

**omg. whoamiagain**


	2. Chapter 1

**Updated! Quick as lightning oh yea! ok its just because i'm addicted to this story. i work really hard on it u kno ? xD so review review review please. they keep me going **

**Aiyoh, how could i forget last chapter. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO chris316512 for helping me with this story! **

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**Mucho love to my reviewers. Thank you all, you get cookies :)**

**Xim-no-writerX- **haha i'm excited about my own story too. xD well, a lot happens to mikan so be prepared! muahahhaha

**chris316512 -** OMG I **FORGOT**! How could i forget? I forgot to give u credit in last chapter...NOOOOOO! sry sry sry! after all u helped me a lot : THANK YOU!

**iimAdOrKable- **i updated pretty quick didn't i?

**starrynight3800- **5 reviews, well i just said that to start it out. thx for thinking the storyline is really interesting, i think so too! i'm addicted to writing this xD u'll see in this chappie why hotaru suddenly said that

**mangaluver123- **thank you. they do have alices in this story, but i don't think it's going to be much of a story where she goes on missions and stuff. I'm going to focus more on her feelings and all this drama bo rama.

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**Disclaimer- I do not own Gakuen Alice. If i did, then there would be a second season. SOBS**

Last Chapter--

"_Hotaru, Hotaru, Hotaru! Look what I got!" Mikan squealed while jumping up and down, holding some shiny thing. _

_Hotaru said nothing. _

_Within the midst of all Mikan's squealing and saying stuff like best friends, Hotaru replied in the iciest voice ever. _

"_What do you mean, __**best friends**__? Did I ever say we were? Don't ever speak to me __**again. **__I don't want to hear your annoying voice in my face again, and I don't have the time to baka-gun you all the time. You hear me? You're annoying. Go away. " _

_Mikan's confidence was fully dropped. She slowly walked away, immediately crashing on her bed when she got to her room. _

_"Why would she do something like that? I really, really, thought we were best friends. As it turns out, I'm a fool. I'm so naïve and always assume. Look where that got me. Well I'm not going to be fooled any longer. I'll stay away from her. I'm going to become strong, and cold so no one can hurt me anymore._

_--._

_The wind billowed all around making noises on this dark night, making her white bedroom curtains swish and swash. Mikan trembled in the cold, huddling under her blankets. The night was dark with the full moon being its only illumination. Life was cruel; it was evil; it was horrible; yet there were some good things, she knew. But no one cared. No one cared what she thought. No one cared about her troubles. No one really knew her. No one. No one. No one. She had no family left. Ojii-san had died; she had received a letter in the mail yesterday. Her friends-well all they knew was the bubbly and happy Mikan. That was the only kind of Mikan they liked. And due to certain circumstances, she just couldn't be that Mikan anymore._

Hotaru's POV

I didn't really mean to hurt Mikan in that way. That day, I was just having a bad day, and I sorta snapped. I can tell she's hurt inside, and suffering. She's not the same anymore. But yet I can't bring myself to apologize. It's rarely that I do so; it's very hard for me.

Flashback –

_Imai Hotaru was having the worst day of her life. First, she saw Mochu and Koko kissing (** A/N: ugh sick I know **) She was grossed, repulsed, disgusted, and every other word in the world that described this feeling. That was just…wrong!_

_"I'm not against gayness, but you know, that…kind of pairing…is just…WRONG!" she thought. "Eww, this day just couldn't get any worse."_

_That just seemed to jinx it. It did exactly the opposite. Next, she got chased around by rabid crazy red-eyed squirrels who wrecked her inventions and ate all her batteries. (o.O squirrels eating batteries, yes I know) Then, **there was a power failure. **_

_Power failures are fatal for inventors. It means that they are stuck with no electricity, and no opportunity for invention. For them, life is miserable without electricity. That was the last straw for her. Whatever was she to do? She was. Very. Very. Annoyed._

_"Curse this stupid world!" she yelled._

_Her doorbell rang and she opened the door. _

"_Hotaru, Hotaru, Hotaru! Look what I got!" Mikan squealed while jumping up and down, holding some shiny thing. _

"_Hm. The baka has come to me for some idiotic thing. Whatever."_

_Within the midst of all Mikan's squealing and saying stuff like best friends, Hotaru replied in the iciest voice ever. _

"_What do you mean, __**best friends**__? Did I ever say we were? Don't ever speak to me __**again. **__I don't want to hear your annoying voice in my face again, and I don't have the time to baka-gun you all the time. You hear me? You're annoying. Go away."_

End Flashback -

She never meant to say any of that. She was just annoyed because Mikan kept saying stuff like 'best friends' all the time. Deep inside though, she knew they were best friends; it was just that she never said anything about it, so she wanted to correct her. Unfortunately, Mikan took it the wrong way.

The truth was, she missed Mikan. But she found no opportunities to speak to her since Mikan kept avoiding her.

"I have to try," she thought.

Mikan's POV

I wake up early, cold and emotionless; a blank face. I hop out of my window, going on my daily morning run. I think while I run.

I'm really a much different person than everyone thinks. They don't understand. They'll **never **understand. They don't care. They'll **never **care. Hotaru's words sting like rock hard, pointy icicles, bitten into me like swarms of bees. I can't seem to get over it. I trusted her so much and what did I get in the end? I feel so naïve and helpless. I can't go on. Not like this.

I hop back through the window and get ready for school. Time for another day of 'bubbly Mikan'. Everyone **loves **'bubbly Mikan'. I happen to hate her myself. Even though, she is myself. Well, a part of what I once was. Can I take it longer? How long will I last like this?

"Ohayo Mikan-san, Sakura-san, Mikan-chan, etc." everyone choruses joyously.

"OHAYO MINNA-SAN!" I yell cheerfully (not!)

Well, almost everyone. The one exclusion is Natsume. I used to like him, you know. But that was before I realized how **stupid **and **hopeless** it was. He'd never like me back, I know that. Who would like an utterly stupid baka like me?

"Oi, Stripes," he calls.

I wait a few seconds before yelling, "NATSUME NO HENTAI!" slightly softer than usual.

It's part of my everyday routine. What makes 'bubbly Mikan' 'bubbly Mikan'.

I really don't care. There's really no point. The only reason why he does it is to annoy me. Well I don't let it get to me. It's just a waste of time.

Strangely, Hotaru goes up to me.

"Mikan! Come here, I want to speak to you!" she yells.

I walk away. She probably only has more bad things to say to me.

-End Mikan's POV-

Hotaru's POV-

She walks away, yet again. She keeps ignoring it like this. All I did was say those fatal words to her, and look where that's got me.

DAMN THOSE STUPID SQUIRRELS!

I can't stand it any longer. It's as if a piece of me is gone without her. She doesn't see that it was all a mistake; that I didn't mean to do it. I feel terrible for saying those words. But no, she keeps avoiding me. How am I ever supposed to apologize to her if I can't talk to her at all?

-End Hotaru's POV-

Mikan's POV

The day ends. I manage to slip through another day as 'bubbly Mikan', barely slipping. Thankfully.

Hotaru tried to confront me today. I wonder why. I avoid her anyways. She's probably going to say more mean stuff to me and make me feel even worse. I can't get hurt again. It hurts too much.

**( A/N: Listen to My Immortal by Evanescence here. )**

**Unitalicized- Mikan's thoughts**

**Italics- the song**

_I'm so tired of being here_

I can't take this any longer

_  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

how much longer can I take this?

_  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

I keep thinking of you, Hotaru. Why don't you just leave me alone? Just leave, so I can forget about you. It hurts too much...

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

_  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

Where have all those years of friendship gone? Down the drain? Was I ever considered your friend?

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

just go, please. We have too much history.

_  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

I. Am. Alone.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

I. Am. Alone.

I. Am. Alone.

I AM ALONE!!

**Ok how was that my lovely readers? I wrote a longer chapter this time : I'm sorta sad that I only got 5 reviews, but I guess that's what I get for only 1 day. Oh well, I just couldn't wait to update and so, you guys get to read quicker xD Maybe more reviewers this time? **

**Review review review...IT MAKES ME HAPPY! reviews are like a drug...**

**Good? Bad? Happy? Sad? Tell me it all in your reviews. The faster you review, the faster I update : **

**Ok for the next chapter, Luna will finally come and there will be a surprise from Hotaru. (NOT TELLING! :P)**

**So if you want to know what happens...HURRY UP AND REVIEW! xD **

**Ja ne!**

**omg.whoamiagain**


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey, all! Sorry I took a while to update this one. I was stuck on writer's block. . **

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**Thanks a lot to chris3169512 for editing and helping me a lot on my story especially when I had writer's block. She also helped me put more emotions in the Hotaru running away part. Thx so much!**

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**Thank you to my reviewers -**

**crimsoneyes44- **yes luna sucks. well you guys might get a teensy bit mad at me -flinches-, but the whole NxM thing doesn't come up for awhile. It's mostly Luna stuff. You will think Luna is even more evil after this...

**Gixie-** Yes, sad is what I aim for. It's supposed to be a really, twisted up, messed up, thing. Thx, my friend - chris3169512 is always on my back for that, so I get the character personalities pretty good :

**dominiqueanne-** yes and you will hate luna even more..

**chris3169512** - squirrels yes. facade is a cool word, is it not?

**starrynight3800-** ooh i feel so happy! u told me that you love my story and that i'm awesome ! tahnk youuu!

**iimAdOrKabLe -** not that soon but soon enough, yes?

**Thanks to those who favorited -**

1. chris31695122. starrynight3800

**Thanks to those who put this story on story alert -**

1. Gixie2. crimsoneyes443. starchic19

**Disclaimer - I do not own Gakuen Alice. Sadly. **

Thoughts are in Italics.

* * *

Around the streets of Gakuen Alice Academy, an average-looking blond girl wandered, hopelessly trying to find the entrance. To passerby, she looked perfectly normal, but they just had no idea what this "little" girl could do. The girl just breezed in through the gates with no interruption and headed off to the elementary principal's office. She stayed there for a long time, but the only thing heard was "I see."

xxx

Mikan's POV

I wake up as another day of school begins. Another day of acting, another day of lying to everyone, another day of pain. I walk quickly to school, silently. I'm tired of this life. As soon as I walk in, I see a…new girl. She has wispy blond, shoulder-length hair and coal black eyes. She's average height, but doesn't exactly look friendly. To put it simply, she looks cold. Like how I feel. Narumi-sensei introduces her, and for once, I actually listen. This girl interests me.

"Everyone, we have a new student, Koizumi Luna! Please welcome her!"

"I am Luna. Pleased-to-meet-you."

Loud whispers went through the class of, "Such beauty…", "How old is she?", "Where did she come from?", "What type of alice does she have?" "Let us see your alice." etc.

Loud coughs wracked her tender body.

"Listen, about Luna's Alice, I have to tell you something."

-cough-

"Luna is very weak"

-cough-

"Research shows that if you uses her alice, it will do a lot of harm on her body. So we have banned her from using her alice. So all of you don't have to ask about her showing her alice."

(**A/N: This is the scene from Ch. 78 manga) **

_"This seems very suspicious. I mean, she could have at least told us what her alice was…" I think. _

"Luna, please go over and sit next to that person over there."

-cough- -cough- -cough-

She goes over to our table.

"Luna, do you want to sit here?" I ask with a voice dripping in my "trying to sound friendly" tone.

-cough- -cough-

"Oh well, you can sit next to me!" I shout (un)happily!

"Hi," she says softly. "I am Koizumi Luna."

"I'm Sakura Mikan," I mumble.

_"Shit!" I thought. "I think I blew it again! Ah well who gives a damn."_

_"She's like me," I think. "Cold and daunting, except **I **don't really show it. At least I try not to."_

Hotaru's POV

_I swear, there's something funky about that Koizumi bitch. I swear, when she was coughing, **I bet** she actually wanted to sit next to Hyuuga and wanted Mikan to switch with her. Those black eyes just spell trouble. She's a dangerous one, I bet. Not one to mess with._

_I can't believe Mikan doesn't notice it._

_I see those coal black eyes staring into Hyuuga's head, figuratively grinding dark black holes._

_This is a tricky little girl. Got to watch out for her…_

--

**A/N- Right here, you may listen to Evanescence-My Immortal if you please. (Yes I know this song was the song in the last chapter, but this song is just so meant for this story : )**

Class is almost over, but Mikan suddenly goes up to me in the midst of Narumi-sensei's lecture.

"Well you see, these are very useful be-"

"What are you staring at, **Imai**?" Mikan snarled. "Stop staring at Luna-chan. Your eyes are wrecking her beauty!"

_"Could this actually be Mikan? This was **nothing **like the old Mikan. But then again, Mikan had changed…"_

"Just keep to yourself and your **stupid **inventions. Nobody needs them anyways. Who cares about you? You're a loner, and a good-for-nothing. No one needs you. You're a hopeless case."

_The whole class, and Narumi-sensei stare. Except for that Koizumi person. Hmm.. Mikan seems possessed. WTH?_

"Then what about you? You have the Nullification Alice, I have the Invention Alice. The Invention Alice beats nullifying. Nullifying doesn't do anything."

"Well, I don't care. Just leave. We don't want you here."

"This is nothing like you Mikan! This is nothing like the Mikan that I used to know. Fine, I'll leave. Since you don't want me here."

_My throat hurt from saying such harsh words to Mikan. But really, was she in her right mind?_

--

"Stay away from all of us, Hotaru-chan," said Nonoko and Anna gleefully. "Leave now."

--

Class is over, and I walk into the buzzing hallway.

"I think it's best you leave this school for good. You're always in the corner, thinking about some strange inventions. You always blackmail me, and you hurt me. You should leave now!" yelled Ruka.

--

Hotaru ran quickly to her room. As soon as she reached it, she plunged immediately for her bed. She sobbed and tears ran down her face.

_"Obviously, nobody wants me here. Why would they say such things? We were on such good terms before, of course, excluding Mikan. Well I won't stay where I'm not wanted. I'll leave."_

_I feel so hopeless. I feel so useless. No one needs me. I have no purpose in life. I must quickly stop being a burden to them. It hurts too much. I have to protect myself from the pain... I can't stay here any longer. _

Flashback -

"What are you staring at, **Imai**?" Mikan snarled. "Stop staring at Luna-chan. Your eyes are wrecking her beauty!"

"Just keep to yourself and your **stupid **inventions. Nobody needs them anyways. Who cares about you? You're a loner, and a good-for-nothing. No one needs you. You're a hopeless case. "

End Flashback -

_The coldness of her words echo through my mind. **No one needs you.**__You are alone. That's the life you're forced to live. Loneliness. Despair. _

_Well I want to escape from it! I want, no- I need to escape from this pain. _

She quickly got her emergency backpack and jumped through the window. To get past the guards, she brought Amanatsu to distract them. _Goodbye, Amanatsu. You're forever broken._

_Goodbye, Gakuen Alice._

_I'll never see you again._

_Goodbye Mikan,_

_I still miss you. _

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**Oh, so Hotaru's running away? :0 Will they catch her? What does Luna do? Why did Mikan, Nonoko, Anna, and Ruka suddenly act like that?**

**Find out in the next chapter of Shadows and Regrets!**

(ooh I sound like a TV advertisement. I could get for this xD)

**So review review review please! Every review counts and makes me update faster. Self-esteem boost here! **

**reviewssss...**

**reviewwsssssss...**

**K i sound addicted!**

**Well enough of my weird randomness, **

**Review please,**

**omgwho.amiagain**


	4. Chapter 3

** Gomenasai for not updating in awhile! Well I wrote a longer chapter this time, and I must admit, I had fun with it. Many people might be wondering why Hotaru is in the place where Mikan is right? Well this is so my story isn't like all the other ones and to have some variety. Also, do you really think that Mikan would be able to survive, running away? This is why Hotaru is up for the position. In this chapter, Mikan seems a bit OOC. Well that's because she's decided to act the way she really feels. Excuse me if this chapter isn't as good of quality and the characters act OOC because my helper/editor/inspirational/urger/ friend - **chris3169512 **is not here as she is on vacation for 2 weeks so yea. Oh yes and btw in my story, luna can make people have memory loss after she controls them. **

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**tahnk youuuuuu for reviewing! **

**chris3169512 - **i know stupid koizumi right?

**starrynight3800 - **luna's alice is the soul sucking alice. she can control people by biting them or something like that

**xXStarryangelzXx - **this is because mikan is only to become stronger. she's normally shown as weak but she will be strong in this fic. plus i wanted a change from all the other stories.

**crimsoneyes44** - well mikan/natsume doesn't come in for awhile, and what are you thinking? i would actually make this lunaxnatsume? NO WAY! dont worry hotaru will come back...eventually.

**Alwaysbtheir - **poor hotaru, i know. well thats what all other stories do but i want to mix it up a little.

**Rainpool's Loyalty**- oh shes going to ! watch out! :0

**thanks for faving - **

1. chris31695122. cutie13143. starrynight3800

**thanks for story alerting - **

1. Alwaysbtheir2. Gixie3. Rainpool's Loyalty4. crimsoneyes445. starchic196. starrynight3800

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**Now, on with the chapter. **

**Disclaimer : I do not own Gakuen Alice. Never have, never will. Thats why this is a fanfiction! **

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Last Chapter -

_Around the streets of Gakuen Alice Academy, an average-looking blond girl wandered, hopelessly trying to find the entrance. To passerby, she looked perfectly normal, but they just had no idea what this "little" girl could do. The girl just breezed in through the gates with no interruption and headed off to the elementary principal's office. She stayed there for a long time, but the only thing heard was "I see."_

_I am Luna. Pleased-to-meet-you."_

_"Listen, about Luna's Alice, I have to tell you something."_

_-cough-_

_"Luna is very weak"_

_-cough-_

_"Research shows that if you uses her alice, it will do a lot of harm on her body. So we have banned her from using her alice. So all of you don't have to ask about her showing her alice."_

_Luna, please go over and sit next to that person over there."_

-cough- -cough- -cough-

--

_"Hi," she says softly. "I am Koizumi Luna."_

_"I'm Sakura Mikan,"_

_--_

_What are you staring at, **Imai**?" Mikan snarled. "Stop staring at Luna-chan. Your eyes are wrecking her beauty!"_

_"Just keep to yourself and your **stupid **inventions. Nobody needs them anyways. Who cares about you? You're a loner, and a good-for-nothing. No one needs you. You're a hopeless case."_

_Then what about you? You have the Nullification Alice, I have the Invention Alice. The Invention Alice beats nullifying. Nullifying doesn't do anything."_

_"Well, I don't care. Just leave. We don't want you here."_

_"This is nothing like you Mikan! This is nothing like the Mikan that I used to know. Fine, I'll leave. Since you don't want me here."_

_"Stay away from all of us, Hotaru-chan," said Nonoko and Anna gleefully. "Leave now."_

_"I think it's best you leave this school for good. You're always in the corner, thinking about some strange inventions. You always blackmail me, and you hurt me. You should leave now!" yelled Ruka.  
_

_--_

_Goodbye, Gakuen Alice._

_I'll never see you again._

_Goodbye Mikan,_

_I still miss you. _

.--

_Italics - Thoughts _

**Bold- Talking **

--

**"Beep, beep, beep-"** went Mikan's alarm clock.

However, she could not hear. The sun shone in through Mikan's white bedroom curtains, welcoming in a stream of light.

**"Beep, beep, beep-"**

**"Ahhhh,"** she sighed as she finally woke up. **"What time is it-"**

**"OMG OMG OMG I'M LATE!"**

I mean, **"Ah who cares, I'm late."**

As Mikan hurriedly rushed to school, not stopping for any hellos or whatever, whispers of **"Imai", "ran", "away", "runaway", "left**_",_ and such things filled the room.

However, Mikan failed to notice this.

Mikan finally made it to class just as Narumi-sensei was taking the attendance.

_**"Hyuuga Natsume."**_

_**"Hn."**_

_**"Koizumi Luna"**_

_**"Here."**_

_**"Mikan Sakura"**_

_**"Here!"**_

No one but Mikan seemed to notice that Narumi-sensei skipped Hotaru.

_"What could be going on?"_ she wondered.

**"Listen up class- I have something to say,"** announced Narumi-sensei.

Loud whispers arose among the class.

**"Your classmate, Imai-san, ran away last night. We are trying our best to retrieve her, but she just seems to stay above our radar. Don't panic – we're sure she'll be back soon."**

**"Run away? That's unheard of!"**

Things like these kept the class buzzing and buzzing.

**"Why would she leave?"** asked Anna out loud.

**"You don't remember? Yesterday, Mikan was saying such rude things to her. You and Nonoko too. And Nogi-san too.**_"_

_"WHAT?"_ thought each of them.

Flashback –

"_What are you staring at, __**Imai**__?" Mikan snarled. "Stop staring at Luna-chan. Your eyes are wrecking her beauty!"_

"_Just keep to yourself and your __**stupid **__inventions. Nobody needs them anyways. Who cares about you? You're a loner, and a good-for-nothing."_

"_Then what about you? You have the Nullification Alice, I have the Invention Alice. The Invention Alice beats nullifying. Nullifying doesn't do anything."_

"_Well, I don't care. Just leave. We don't want you here."_

Flashback End-

Flashback-

"I think it's best you leave this school for good. You're always in the corner, thinking about some strange inventions. You always blackmail me, and you hurt me. You should leave now!" yelled Ruka.

Flashback End-

"You and Nonoko also said a bunch of mean things," explained Narumi-sensei.

Everyone wondered what in the world had possessed them to do such things.

In the back, a certain Koizumi Luna smirked, while Natsume stared suspiciously.

_"What have I done?"_ thought Mikan. _"I can't believe I actually made Imai run away."_

_--_

**Italics – Thoughts**

**Bold- Conscience**

**--**

_I wonder how long she will be able to stay uncaught. Knowing her-forever. She just has too many useful inventions._

_"Wait-why should I care if Imai runs away and starves in a forest while some giant grizzly bear eats her alive? She could rot in hell for all I care."_

"**You did this to her. She's going to ****die**** because of you**."

_"She can survive on her own. She's strong enough."_

"**How do you know that? She could be dying in a hole for all you know." **

_"How the heck are you even talking to me?"_

"**I'm your conscience, Mikan."**

_"WTF GET OUTTA MY MIND!"_

"**I'm a part of your mind."**

_"WHATTT? NO WAY. You cannot be a part of my mind. My mind isn't like this!"_

"**How do you know?"**

_"I just do."_

"**No you don't!"**

_"Yes I do!"_

**No you don't!"**

_"Yes I do!"_

**No you don't!"**

_"Yes I do!"_

**No you don't!"**

_"Yes I do!"_

**No you don't!"**

_"Yes I do!"_

**No you don't!"**

_"Yes I do!"_

"**Yes you do."**

_"No I don't!"_

_"Wait…what?"_

_"NOOOO STUPID CONSCIENCE! YOU FOOLED ME! WHYYYYY? WHYYYYYYY?" _Mikan sobbed hysterically in her mind.

Her conscience chuckled.

_"Wait…what were we arguing about in the first place?"_

"**How I'm not a part of your mind."**

_"YOU ARE SO NOT!"_

End Conscience thing a bob-

--

_Thoughts - Italics_

**Words/Speaking -Bold **

--

**"Mikan! Mikan! Mikan-chan!"**

**"Huh?"** I suddenly snapped out of my reverie and the sudden shock of having a conscience.

**"I was just saying-, that we didn't assign a partner for Luna-chan yet, and would you like to be her partner. You'll still be Natsume's you know."**

**"Ok,"** I mumbled.

_My façade wasn't going so well lately. I kept blowing it. Then I realized- Why have a façade at all?Did I really need it?_

_My answer was no._

_So who cared? I could be cold and uncaring as much as I wanted now. _

_--_

The next day…

Mikan walked in – an hour late to class. Jinno, or Jin-Jin as Mikan liked to call him, was already in the midst of one of his boring lectures.

"Why are you so late, Sakura-san?" he yelled.

"Hn." I said in a bad girl tone and walked to my seat, where Koizumi was sitting.

The whole class gasped. **What **was with Mikan's attitude?

I doodled in class and constantly wrote Jin-jin sucks, Jin-jin 3 Persona, this class is so boring, and other such things on my notebook.

Haha. Jin-jin saw it! He next went to zap me with his metal wand, but I nullified it and walked straight out of class. OOH this was fun!

Next, I needed to do something with my hair and clothes. I was just dying to cut it short, since the whole, innocent pigtails, long hair, **really **wasn't working for me.

So I went to Central Town and got a quality haircut. My new hair was a short, pixie-like cut. I had bangs brushed to the sides, and my hair was nicely layered. I dyed my hair black with a few red streaks in it.

Next, I went to go shop for a whole new wardrobe, which consisted mainly of – black. Red. More black.

Sure, I had just waste almost all my savings, but I could always just force some little innocent kid to give me some more rabbits by glaring at him.

Oh how much fun this was!

--

Italics - Thoughts

--

"The property of this-," Narumi-sensei lectured as Mikan walked into class dressed in the usual uniform, **badified. **Along with her new hair, she also wore red and black plaid legwarmers, red and black plaid converses, a long black jacket, tied at the waist by a red stripe, and a red hair clip in her hair. She smirked. Oh, did I mention she was an **hour late? **

_The whole class gaped. __**Again. **__I swear, even expressionless Natsume- wait, __**Hyuuga**__. Shocking right? _

"E-e-errr, I like your new look Mikan….b-but…I don't think it's really you, you know?" said Anna.

"S-sakura-san, uhmm…your new look doesn't really work for you."

"Hn. Why'd you change your look?"

_Hmph. They don't like it. Well I don't care. Too bad! They have to deal with it._

Even Narumi-sensei asked, "What's with the, uh, new look, Mikan?"

Mikan grumbled all the way to her seat, next to **Koizumi. **

"I like your new look, Sakura-san." She complimented.

"Arigato," I muttered.

Suddenly my mind went blank. I was whisked away to another world, it seemed. In this drunken daze, I stumbled through this whirling world, my tiny steps labored. Suddenly I heard a voice, bringing me out of this hell.

"M-Mikan? What's the answer? Mikan? Mikan?"

"Uhh-oh! 2!"

"Sorry, that was incorrect."

"What about you, Koko?"

I seemed to have no clue about what was happening, and my mind seemed to feel strangely empty. What was with me today? I looked down into my empty notebook and saw the words, Mikan + Luna Best Friends Forever! Written over and and over again. That must be the answer. I was in Gakuen Alice Academy, and Luna was my best friend!

Luna was my best friend! That's right! That was the answer - the thing I forgot.

Xxx

"Luna-chan, wait up!"

"Oh hi Mikan, I have a present for you."

"Look it's a dog puppy keychain. Isn't it cute?"

"Hai!"

"Well, here you go," she said as she attached it to my black and red plaid messenger bag.

"Oh, and can you fetch me a Triple Whirl Orange Strawberry Smoothie at GakuenJuice?"

"Sure!" I replied.

Xxx

Third Person POV- means that there is nobody's point of view, narrator.

"I never knew that Luna and Mikan-chan were such good friends!" exclaimed Anna as she viewed the scene described before.

"Oh yea, what happened to the friendship between Hotaru and Mikan?" asked Nonoko.

"I don't know. They must have had an argument or something."

"It's so sad that she would run away. She must have been so upset that Mikan and her weren't friends anymore."

"I hope she's ok."

…

_I hope she's ok._

* * *

**Is Hotaru ok? What's with Mikan's conscience? What's with her new look? Will she be trapped in the darkness? Luna and her are best friends? WHATTTTT? **

**If you skipped the whole part up before, glare then here's it now. Luna's alice allows her to control people, AND, make them forget some stuff from before. **

**Find out...next chapter ! **

**So please review and i'll update faster. **

**review pwease ! **

**omg.whoamiagain**


	5. Chapter 4

**Thank you to all who reviewed. This chapter sucked and I was a lazy person and I didn't try very hard on it. Sorry its so short. I'll have to do better next time.**

**Thank you to my reviewers -**

crimsoneyes44 - i know, poor hotaru right...

Gixie - ok how about we say that since Mikan isn't using the Nullification Alice all the time, Luna is able to affect her.

chris3169512 - XD i know !

gsdvampiress - thx.

**Thank you to all of those who put me on story alert and faved this story. I'm no longer going to put the names, but put a big thank you list when i finish this story. **

Somehow, Mikan felt empty inside. She felt as if a part of her was missing. Sure, she remembered Natsume, Ruka-pyon, Anna, Nonoko, Permy, Koko, Yuu - her ex-friends, but she felt like there was a hole in her memories. Her memories told her that Luna-chan had been in this academy since she first came and that they became best friends upon first glance, but she felt otherwise. Oh well, she had to go. Luna-chan was calling for her and asking her to go pick up her laundry, get her a Strawberry Coconut Smoothie, and do her homework, all at 5 A.M. in the morning! She quickly complied, or she knew Luna-chan would get mad. She stared at the cute puppy keychain that Luna-chan had given her. It was so cute, but it actually looked…sort of evil…

As she walked past Anna and Nonoko on the way to school, she didn't say a word. They had betrayed her, those fools.

Flashback –

_Anna and Nonoko were speaking in a conversation during lunch. _

"_Don't you think that all of us in our group are perfect, except for Mikan?"_

"_She always yells at Natsume-kun for being such a pervert."_

"_I know, Natsume-kun shouldn't have to deal with such trash."_

"_I'm going to go make her some poisonous food for her to eat later when Natsume-kun and ugly her come to my café later."_

"_Good plan! I can make a potion for you to put in there."_

_They consumed planning."_

Flashback End

Little did they know, Mikan had overheard them. But she forgot about it later, and ate the horrible tasting food which made her sick for a week.

"Those traitors!" she thought. "I thought they were my friends!"

Speaking of friends, all her friends had betrayed her as well. Sumire went and got mad at Luna-chan for trying to molest Natsume, even though she knew perfectly well that Luna-chan was not doing any such thing. Ruka had tried to set Usagi onto Luna-chan, saying that she was evil. Natsume had done the worst of them all. All the time, he always teased her, acted like a pervert, was cold to her, and acted so cruel.

Flashback –

"_Polka, I think it's best if you don't talk to me or follow me anymore. I mean, it's obvious that you're only a burden to me, and it's obvious that I hate you. We should stay away from each other."_

"_B-b-but I thought we were friends..."_

"_There was no such thing! Natsume Hyuuga has no friends! Goodbye, and may I never speak to you again."_

Flashback End –

"That stupid guy! How dare he!"

Now all she had left was Luna-chan, so she had to be the nicest to her.

Nonoko and Anna came up to her. What were **they **doing here?

"Mikan-chan, why are you acting like this? How come you're not talking to us anymore? And aren't you sad that Hotaru left?"

"Talking to you guys? Why should I? Humph! You guys all betrayed me! I heard you at lunch. You guys were saying how I was horrible to Natsume and only a burden! And you wanted to poison my food! And you still say how come I'm not talking to you?"

"W-w-when did that happen?" asked Nonoko.

"Don't you dare act innocent! You know you did it!"

"Nothing like that never happened…" said Anna.

"You know it did! Go away before I **kill **you!"

They both backed away for the glare in Mikan's eyes was so…scary…

--

Back where Hotaru is...

Hotaru struggled through the heavy jungle forest, clomping up and down in her heavy boots. She couldn't use any of her inventions for fear that Gakuen Alice would be able to track her.

She panted heavily and wondered how long it would take before she was far enough away from the Academy.

"She would need some more supplies soon," she thought.

She stared at the map, trying to find the best route to the city.

"Where was she?"

She couldn't be lost right...

"Where did she put her GPS tracker?"

--

"Hey guys, I think there's something up with Mikan." Sumire announced.

"Of course there is!" said Anna. "We asked her why she wasn't talking to us, and she said that we betrayed her."

Murmurs of "what", "that never happened", and "what are you talking about" went all across the group.

"Yea I know, right?" answered Anna.

"So I think it has something to do with that Koizumi freak," said Nonoko.

"She's always trying to edge her way into you, Natsume." Sumire said.

"Hn. That brat," grunted Natsume.

"She also doesn't remember who Hotaru is," said Nonoko.

"There's something fishy about Koizumi freak," stated Anna.

"Wait…we don't know her alice." Ruka said.

"Oh yea, right…And apparently she can't use it…" Koko said.

"Maybe she has an ultra powerful alice then?" asked Yuu.

"Maybe." Ruka replied.

"So how do we find out what her alice is?" asked Anna.

"We'll have to think of something…" replied Ruka.

**So here we go . One sucky chapter. Hotaru is lost! **

**So please review, and sorry for not updating in so long. **

**Ja ne,**

**omgwho.amiagain**


	6. Chapter 5

** Last chapter pretty much sucked, ne? Ok, I updated pretty quickly this time. It's not that long, but its a lot better than last time. Much more will be happening soon. **

**Thank you to **chris3169512 **for helping me edit this story and giving me ideas! You helped make it a lot better this time! YAY ur finally back from vacation!**

**Thank you all of you who reviewed -**

xXStarryangelzXx - **Mikan will get better tho.**

starrynight3800 - **oh it will only make getting revenge on luna even more sweet in the end ;**

crimsoneyes44 - **you will be pleased by the revenge on her at the end...**

chris3169512 - **TY! -murders luna, throws her down the toilet- xD**

**Not that many reviewers, but it's ok since I only updated 2 days ago. School is starting soon and I may not be able to update as much, so I'll try to update one more time before school starts, ne? **

**I have noticed, though, that more people have been putting my story on story alert. TY! And to all you favers too! Review!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Gakuen Alice. Never have, never will. I can say that for you. Unless i become super rich and buy it...not going to happen. well if i do i'd make another season! **

* * *

**Last Chapter - **

_Hotaru struggled through the heavy jungle forest, clomping up and down in her heavy boots. She couldn't use any of her inventions for fear that Gakuen Alice would be able to track her._

_She panted heavily and wondered how long it would take before she was far enough away from the Academy._

_"She would need some more supplies soon," she thought._

_She stared at the map, trying to find the best route to the city._

_"Where was she?"_

_She couldn't be lost right..._

_"Where did she put her GPS tracker?"_

**--**

_"Hey guys, I think there's something up with Mikan." Sumire announced._

_"Of course there is!" said Anna. "We asked her why she wasn't talking to us, and she said that we betrayed her."_

_Murmurs of "what", "that never happened", and "what are you talking about" went all across the group._

_"Yea I know, right?" answered Anna._

_"So I think it has something to do with that Koizumi freak," said Nonoko._

_"She's always trying to edge her way into you, Natsume." Sumire said._

_"Hn. That brat," grunted Natsume._

_"She also doesn't remember who Hotaru is," said Nonoko._

_"There's something fishy about Koizumi freak," stated Anna._

_"Wait…we don't know her alice." Ruka said._

_"Oh yea, right…And apparently she can't use it…" Koko said._

_"Maybe she has an ultra powerful alice then?" asked Yuu._

_"Maybe." Ruka replied._

_"So how do we find out what her alice is?" asked Anna._

_"We'll have to think of something…" replied Ruka._

--

"I'll be right on it, Reo-kun. Of course the AAO will be able to obtain Hyuuga Natsume, a.k.a. Kuro Neko."

"Good work, Soul Star. Or should I say, Luuunaaa-chaaan?"

"I'll contact you the next time I have any updates, Reo-kun."

--

"So here's the plan." Said Anna. "Koko is going to read Koizumi's mind. Then we'll find out whatever Koizumi is up to, and why Mikan is acting like this."

Koko fought his way through her mind and was surprised by what he saw.

"Those idiots. They don't know I'm actually twenty years old and have the Soul-Sucking Alice. I can make them do whatever I please. Just with one little bite and a black mark on their necks…"

He watched as she remembered of the times she made Mikan, Anna, and Ruka say all the mean things to Hotaru to make her leave. He watched as she remembered as she implanted the memory of her and Mikan being best friends forever. He watched as she used Mikan as a servant while Mikan did nothing about it.

Later on, Koko reported the news to the gang.

"Thank you!" Anna squealed, and gave him a kiss…right on the lips.

Both blushed heavily when realizing what had been done.

All the others snickered.

"Koko and Anna, huh?"

After regaining her composure, Anna stuttered, "W-wow… I can't believe Koizumi could do such a thing."

"I know," Ruka replied. "We have to tell Mikan about this."

"We should tell the authorities, too." Yuu added.

"I do remember having a black mark on my neck…" Ruka said.

"Me too," Anna said.

"Me three," Nonoko added.

"Wait, we should check if there's a black mark on her neck." Sumire said.

"Hn."

Well, you can guess who that came from.

"Natsume, how can you be so inconsiderate and uncaring? Mikan has liked you since we were 10! And this is the kind of thanks you give her? We need to save her from the darkness!" **(A/N – Mikan and the gang are like, 15 or 16 now.)**

--

Secretly, Natsume felt guilty. Polka actually liked him back? But, he wondered if she still did. Maybe not, since the Koizumi bitch was controlling him and all that. He had to talk some sense into Mikan, maybe confess. He hoped she would listen.

He liked her, no loved her back.

Since he was 10, too.

He had to do something.

--

As class started, Natsume had his eyes on Mikan's neck. Sure enough, there was a black mark on it.

At lunch, he told this to the others.

Hurriedly, they rushed to tell Narumi-sensei.

"Koizumi Luna has the Soul-Stealer alice and is controlling Mikan! She's wrecking everyone's lives, and she made Hotaru leave, by controlling Anna, Nonoko, Ruka, and Mikan. She also implanted false memories into Mikan's head."

"So?" Narumi-sensei said. "What do you want me to do about it?"

They looked at his neck, and sure enough there was a black mark.

With Hotaru—

Impossible! She couldn't be lost. She searched her surroundings. Perhaps, she could see a light somewhere in this heavy forest?

She looked harder, and it seemed, she could see a faint blue light circling in through the trees. She followed it, as it seemed to be drawing her closer and closer in.

"What? A person with an alice?" she thought.

The guy was tall and muscular, and had messy, blonde hair. He was wearing a white shirt with gray pants and a black, long coat. His eyes were glassy and gray.

They stared at each other for a few moments. Then the guy, suddenly fumbled inside his pocket for something.

"What? A walkie talkie? Nande?"

"Reo-sama. I seem to have found Imai Hotaru from Gakuen Alice. Come send your forces immediately. She will be a good spy."

"Ok, are you sure that it's Hotaru Imai?"

"Yes. Violet short hair, amethyst eyes, a height of 5' 2""

"Ok. I'll send them in then."

Just as Hotaru realized what was happening, she tried to run away, but was stopped by the strange blue light. It seemed to hold time still.

Just what had she gotten herself into...

--

"I am sorry to inform you, but Imai-san is **nowhere to be found. **For the moment, she is assumed dead." Narumi-sensei droned on in a monotonic voice.

"Dead?"

The word rang through the whole classroom, shocking everyone with the possibility that the Ice Queen could possibly be dead.

Dead.

_Dead._

_Dead?_

Could she actually be dead? Memories rang through all of the students. They marveled at the thought.

There was just no way Imai Hotaru could be dead.

_Just no way. _

_No way in hell!_

**So that was an action-packed chapter, don't you think? Sorta short, but action-y : Luna is controlling everyone now...**

**You'll hate her even more...**

**Please review!**

**I'll try to update once more before I go back to school. **

**Ja ne!**

_omgwho.amiagain_


	7. Chapter 6

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing! One more update before I go back to school. Which is...tomorrow. eh... BYE SUMMER! **

**Thank you especially to **chris3169512 **for helping me edit! And giving me ideas! **

**Thank you to all those who reviewed -**

chris3169512 - SIGH NO USE... Luna is evil isn't she?

crimsoneyes44 - xD friends sure :

dominiqueanne - thx for the review! yup nxm!

xXStarryangelzXx - narumi didn't say she was dead, just that she was assumed dead. And you'll see here, she's not dead.

xSapphirexRosesxFanx - sorta. well that's what it says in the manga , that she bites them and there's a black mark. i know pretty hard huh?

**And to **xSapphirexRosesxFanx - thx i will!, **in ch. 4**

**Now, onto the story! Before i forget though,**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Gakuen Alice. Psh never will I..**

Last Chapter -

_"I'll be right on it, Reo-kun. Of course the AAO will be able to obtain Hyuuga Natsume, a.k.a. Kuro Neko."_

_"Good work, Soul Star. Or should I say, Luuunaaa-chaaan?"_

_"I'll contact you the next time I have any updates, Reo-kun."_

_--_

_"So here's the plan." Said Anna. "Koko is going to read Koizumi's mind. Then we'll find out whatever Koizumi is up to, and why Mikan is acting like this."_

_Koko fought his way through her mind and was surprised by what he saw._

_"Those idiots. They don't know I'm actually twenty years old and have the Soul-Sucking Alice. I can make them do whatever I please. Just with one little bite and a black mark on their necks…"_

_He watched as she remembered of the times she made Mikan, Anna, and Ruka say all the mean things to Hotaru to make her leave. He watched as she remembered as she implanted the memory of her and Mikan being best friends forever. He watched as she used Mikan as a servant while Mikan did nothing about it._

_--_

"Hn."

Well, you can guess who that came from.

"Natsume, how can you be so inconsiderate and uncaring? Mikan has liked you since we were 10! And this is the kind of thanks you give her? We need to save her from the darkness!" **(A/N – Mikan and the gang are like, 15 or 16 now.)**

--

_Secretly, Natsume felt guilty. Polka actually liked him back? But, he wondered if she still did. Maybe not, since the Koizumi bitch was controlling him and all that. He had to talk some sense into Mikan, maybe confess. He hoped she would listen._

_He liked her, no loved her back._

_Since he was 10, too._

_He had to do something._

_--_

_Hurriedly, they rushed to tell Narumi-sensei._

_"Koizumi Luna has the Soul-Stealer alice and is controlling Mikan! She's wrecking everyone's lives, and she made Hotaru leave, by controlling Anna, Nonoko, Ruka, and Mikan. She also implanted false memories into Mikan's head."_

_"So?" Narumi-sensei said. "What do you want me to do about it?"_

_They looked at his neck, and sure enough there was a black mark._

_--_

_"Ok, are you sure that it's Hotaru Imai?"_

_"Yes. Violet short hair, amethyst eyes, a height of 5' 2""_

_"Ok. I'll send them in then."_

_Just as Hotaru realized what was happening, she tried to run away, but was stopped by the strange blue light. It seemed to hold time still._

_Just what had she gotten herself into..._

_--_

_"I am sorry to inform you, but Imai-san is **nowhere to be found. **For the moment, she is assumed dead." Narumi-sensei droned on in a monotonic voice._

_"Dead?"_

_The word rang through the whole classroom, shocking everyone with the possibility that the Ice Queen could possibly be dead._

_Dead._

_Dead._

_Dead?_

_Could she actually be dead? Memories rang through all of the students. They marveled at the thought._

_There was just no way Imai Hotaru could be dead._

_Just no way. _

_No way in hell!_

_--_

_--_

_--_

Hotaru froze, trapped in time. She tried to scream, but she couldn't. Everything around her was still and quiet.

How would she ever get out? What did the AAO want with her?

The man approached her, and she would have trembled in fear if she could.

His voice was raspy and low.

"Come with me, girl," he spoke, just as hoards of AAO agents, all dressed in standard dark black bodysuits, sunglasses, and weapon pouches, began to approach. They tied her up in thick white ropes, gagged her, blindfolded her, and injected something into her arm.

Suddenly, she began to lose her grip of the world, and began to fall, into a deep, deep sleep.

Everything was black.

--

"We have to let Mikan know about Koizumi!" Anna exclaimed loudly.

"But how?" asked Ruka.

"We can just tell her, I guess. She should believe us. She is our friend, after all." Sumire answered confidently.

"But what if she doesn't believe us?" a nervous Yuu questioned.

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see," Nonoko exclaimed optimistically.

--

"Bring me a Triple Banana Berry Strawberry Gakuen Juice smoothie NOW!"

"Hai, Luna-chan!"

"Call me Luna-san!"

"Hai, Luna-san!"

"Do my laundry!"

"Hai, Luna-san!"

"Make me dinner!"

"Hai-Luna-san!"

Mikan panted in exhaustion. Luna-san was sure working her hard.

"HURRY UP!"

"Yes, Luna-san!"

"CALL ME KOIZUMI-HIME!"

"Hai, Koizumi-hime!"

Mikan was dressed in the typical maid's outfit – a black button up shirt, black pants, and a white frilly apron to go over it all.

If one looked closer though, there was only a frown on her face. There were bags under her eyes, and she looked really tired.

But she wasn't in her right state of mind.

_Luna was controlling her. _

Why?

--

"I am here to question you, Imai-san."

"What? Who are you?" Hotaru asked nervously.

"That does not matter. You must do whatever we say."

"What? Why should I?" Hotaru demanded, reverting back to her usual 'Ice Queen' self.

"Because," the 6'5 bald, broad shouldered, muscular man said menacingly, "I will torture Sakura Mikan, Nogi Ruka, Shouda Sumire, Umenomiya Anna, and Ogasawara Nonoko one stab at a time, till they DIE!"

He cackled evilly.

She sighed.

"Go back to Gakuen Alice Academy. Work for us an AAO spy. Get close to Nogi Ruka, Sakura Mikan, Hyuuga Natsume, and gather information. Report to us by walkie talkie EVERY NIGHT. We will contact you when we have anything new going on."

"What? I can't betray them."

'Well," the man said, pulling out a knife, "Do you wish to die?"

"N-n-no…"

"Then, answer. Will you do it? Or die and let your friends be killed?"

(A/N- Listen to The Moment I said it – Imogen Heap here. It doesn't really relate that much to this, but it has a good feel to this mood here.)

_The moment I said it_

Should I do it?

_  
the moment I opened my mouth  
lead in your eyelids  
Bulldozed the life out of me  
I know what you're thinking  
But darling you're not thinking straight  
Sadly things just happen...  
we can't... explain_

I'm sorry, minna. I have to do this for you. I'm sorry Gakuen Alice. I'm betraying you. 

It's not even light out,  
But you've somewhere to be - no hesitation  
No I've never seen you like this  
And I dont like it, I  
dont like it, I dont like  
it at all

I can't let them harm you.

Just put back the car keys  
or somebody's going to get hurt  
who are you calling at this hour  
sit down, come round , I need you now  
we'll work it all out together  
we're getting no where tonight  
now sleep, I promise, it'll  
all seem better somehow  
in time

It'll get better. You'll never have to know about any of this harsh reality. 

It's not even light out  
Suddenly, you've somewhere to be  
No hesitation  
mmm...I've never seen you like this  
Your scaring me, Youre scaring me,  
Your scaring me to death

I'm only protecting you. 

Don't..oh, smash...please  
Don't...oh...and another one  
Don't...oh...and another one

I'm losing you...I'm losing you

Trust me on this one  
I've got a bad feeling  
Trust me on this one  
You're going to throw it all away  
With no hesitation

Bye bye bye bye bye bye  
bye bye bye bye bye  
bye bye bye  
bye

Goodbye, minna.

--

"Mikan, we have to talk to you."

They walked to a place alone.

"Koizumi is only using you. She has the Soul-Stealer Alice, and see that bite on your neck? She can control you because of that. She's actually twenty years old!" Anna, Sumire, Ruka, Yuu, and Nonoko exclaimed.

"No, it can't be! I don't believe you! Koizumi-hime would never do that! I trust her! She's all I have left!"

"Look, Mikan, even she has brainwashed you now. Koizumi-hime?"

"Well I don't trust you guys! You betrayed me, you all, traitors! Koizumi-hime is the only one I can trust now!"

"We never betrayed you! She's just feeding you false memories. I've seen her order you around like a slave. Look at your face in the mirror. You look tired, and there are circles under your eyes. Do you think that's really what a real best friend would do? Look at yourself? You're even wearing a FREAKIN MAID'S OUTFIT! I don't know what you've gotten into, but I don't like it. What has gotten into you, Mikan?"

**So Hotaru's forced to work as a spy for the AAO. And Mikan's been brainwashed and won't believe them. How will they ever get out of this mess?**

**Review! Give me ideas too, :**

**Anyways,**

**Ja ne, **

omgwho.amiagain


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello, everyone! I'm here, with a nice, LONG chapter for all of you! PHEW , like 2x as much as usual! I really worked hard on this so I hope you enjoy it. Lots of events happen in this chapter. But, the sad thing is that school has started so I'll only be able to update like once a week. Sorry. Well, it's Labor Day weekend, so I guess that's why I have a long chapter? Iono? Well I listened to Flavor of Life by Utada Hikaru a lot while writing this. It's a REALLY good song, and i used it in this chapter. Listen to it! It's also in Hana Yori Dango 2, an awesome drama which you definetely should watch! **

**And on we go...**

**Thank you to all me reviewers!**

crimsoneyes44 - You'll get your wish in this chapter!

dominiqueanne - soon, but she'll come back in the end

chris3169512 - that would be nice...

xSapphirexRosesxFanx - yea but in this chap, its ok now

**Thank you to **chris3169512 **for motivation, support, and help editing. **

**Disclaimer : i do not own gakuen alice. THIS IS WHY IT'S CALLED FANFICTION! **

**Say it with me.**

**Fan.**

**Fiction.**

**FAAAANNN**

**FICTIOONNNN.**

**-DROOLS-**

**xD no.**

**On with the story,**

_--_

**_Last Chapter -_**

_"Bring me a Triple Banana Berry Strawberry Gakuen Juice smoothie NOW!"_

_"Hai, Luna-chan!"_

_"Call me Luna-san!"_

_"Hai, Luna-san!"_

_"Do my laundry!"_

_"Hai, Luna-san!"_

_"Make me dinner!"_

_"Hai-Luna-san!"_

_Mikan panted in exhaustion. Luna-san was sure working her hard._

_"HURRY UP!"_

_"Yes, Luna-san!"_

_"CALL ME KOIZUMI-HIME!"_

_"Hai, Koizumi-hime!"_

_Mikan was dressed in the typical maid's outfit – a black button up shirt, black pants, and a white frilly apron to go over it all._

_If one looked closer though, there was only a frown on her face. There were bags under her eyes, and she looked really tired._

_But she wasn't in her right state of mind._

_Luna was controlling her. _

_--_

_"I am here to question you, Imai-san."_

_"What? Who are you?" Hotaru asked nervously._

_"That does not matter. You must do whatever we say."_

_"What? Why should I?" Hotaru demanded, reverting back to her usual 'Ice Queen' self._

_"Because," the 6'5 bald, broad shouldered, muscular man said menacingly, "I will torture Sakura Mikan, Nogi Ruka, Shouda Sumire, Umenomiya Anna, and Ogasawara Nonoko one stab at a time, till they DIE!"_

_He cackled evilly._

_She sighed._

_"Go back to Gakuen Alice Academy. Work for us an AAO spy. Get close to Nogi Ruka, Sakura Mikan, Hyuuga Natsume, and gather information. Report to us by walkie talkie EVERY NIGHT. We will contact you when we have anything new going on."_

_"What? I can't betray them."_

_'Well," the man said, pulling out a knife, "Do you wish to die?"_

_"N-n-no…"_

_"Then, answer. Will you do it? Or die and let your friends be killed?"_

_--_

"Good. You decided to agree. Come now, we will escort you to Reo-sama for your briefing."

She nodded.

"Imai Hotaru. Invention Alice. Age 15. Height : 5' 2". Weight : 102 pounds. Appearance : Short, Violet Hair. Amethyst eyes. At Gakuen Alice Academy in Tokyo since age 10." Reo read from her files.

"Ok, your new (mission) name will be Amethyst Eyes. For the first three weeks, you will undergo the AAO training program, which all newbies must go through."

"Then you will be transported to somewhere in the middle of Tokyo, where Gakuen Alice's sensors will be able to pick you up and find you. They will take you back to Gakuen Alice, but be **very careful, **because they may be suspicious of you."

"Hai."

"Every night, you must report to us using this earring."

He handed her a violet stone, earring.

"When you press the red light on the back of it, you will be able to communicate with us. This will pass all security."

**(A/N – Let's say Hotaru got her ears pierced before.)**

"We also have another agent working at Gakuen Alice Academy : Koizumi Luna. She is one of our best. You are not to talk to her while you are there for fear of suspicion. We will contact you using this bracelet if we need you."

He handed her a black bracelet, studded with purple gems. If we ever catch you betraying us, this will send unbearable pain to you. If we need to contact you, it will send two shocks of pain, then you contact us using your earring."

"H-hai." She murmured.

"Good. You did not try to resist."

"I have to do this for them," she thought. "I have to…"

"Very good. Escort her to the training grounds. Your training instructor will meet you there."

"Ohayo. I am Serpona. Do 15 laps around the field."

The lady was tall and her eyes were highly covered in eyeliner. Her hair was black and long, and she had a menacing glare. She seemed to resemble Persona, and she was wearing tons of control devices.

She stared at the field, eyes filled with wonder. It was huge! How was she ever supposed to survive this…?

Finally, she finished, panting.

She was exhausted.

"Now do 1000 pushups, with one hand." She said menacingly.

"You've got to be kidding me," she thought.

After 5 sprints, 200 situps, 500 squats, and 300 one fingered pushups, she was done.

"Finally," she thought.

"You are excused. Meet me here tomorrow at 5:00 am SHARP. If you are late, you will be punished."

She grimaced. She didn't even want to know what the punishment was.

--

Mikan blinked. Suddenly, that empty spot seemed to be coming back to her. In the blink of an eye, she **remembered. **Everything.

Memories flashed back to her.

**Flashback :**

"_What are you staring at, __**Imai**__?" Mikan snarled. "Stop staring at Luna-chan. Your eyes are wrecking her beauty!"_

"_Just keep to yourself and your __**stupid **__inventions. Nobody needs them anyways. Who cares about you? You're a loner, and a good-for-nothing."_

"_Then what about you? You have the Nullification Alice, I have the Invention Alice. The Invention Alice beats nullifying. Nullifying doesn't do anything."_

"_Well, I don't care. Just leave. We don't want you here."_

_My throat hurt from saying such harsh words to Mikan. But really, was she in her right mind?_

End Flashback –

I remembered how hard I had hurt Hotaru. No wonder she had left.

Flashback –

"I am sorry to inform you, but Imai-san is **nowhere to be found. **For the moment, she is assumed dead." Narumi-sensei droned on in a monotonic voice.

"Dead?"

The word rang through the whole classroom, shocking everyone with the possibility that the Ice Queen could possibly be dead.

Dead.

_Dead._

_Dead?_

Could she actually be dead? Memories rang through all of the students. They marveled at the thought.

There was just no way Imai Hotaru could be dead.

End Flashback –

"Could it be, that because of me, Hotaru could actually be **dead?**" Mikan thought.

**Flashback –**

"_Bring me a Triple Banana Berry Strawberry Gakuen Juice smoothie NOW!"  
_

"_Hai, Luna-chan!"_

"_Call me Luna-san!"_

"_Hai, Luna-san!"_

"_Do my laundry!"_

"_Hai, Luna-san!"_

"_Make me dinner!"_

"_Hai-Luna-san!"_

_Mikan panted in exhaustion. Luna-san was sure working her hard._

"_HURRY UP!"_

"_Yes, Luna-san!"_

"_CALL ME KOIZUMI-HIME!"_

"_Hai, Koizumi-hime!"_

"Bring me a Triple Banana Berry Strawberry Gakuen Juice smoothie NOW!"

"Hai, Luna-chan!"

"Call me Luna-san!"

"Hai, Luna-san!"

"Do my laundry!"

"Hai, Luna-san!"

"Make me dinner!"

"Hai-Luna-san!"

Mikan panted in exhaustion. Luna-san was sure working her hard.

"HURRY UP!"

"Yes, Luna-san!"

"CALL ME KOIZUMI-HIME!"

"Hai, Koizumi-hime!"

End Flashback –

It was all that Koizumi-bitch's fault. **She was so going to kill her for this.**

But then she remembered, she could have fought against it, she could have used her nullification alice.

_She should have been stronger. _

Flashback –

"_Mikan, we have to talk to you."_

_They walked to a place alone. _

"_Koizumi is only using you. She has the Soul-Stealer Alice, and see that bite on your neck? She can control you because of that. She's actually twenty years old!" Anna, Sumire, Ruka, Yuu, and Nonoko exclaimed. _

"_No, it can't be! I don't believe you! Koizumi-hime would never do that! I trust her! She's all I have left!"_

"_Look, Mikan, even she has brainwashed you now. Koizumi-hime?"_

"_Well I don't trust you guys! You betrayed me, you all, traitors! Koizumi-hime is the only one I can trust now!"_

"_We never betrayed you! She's just feeding you false memories. I've seen her order you around like a slave. Look at your face in the mirror. You look tired, and there are circles under your eyes. Do you think that's really what a real best friend would do? Look at yourself? You're even wearing a FREAKIN MAID'S OUTFIT! I don't know what you've gotten into, but I don't like it. What has gotten into you, Mikan?"_**  
**

**End Flashback –**

She hadn't believed Anna and the others, even though they were her **true **friends. She had been idiotic and weak.

_She had to get stronger._

_She felt horrible, betrayed. She let the Koizumi bitch boss her around and treat her as if she were just a servant: nothing. She should have been stronger. All of these people had suffered because of her. _

"I VOW TO GET STRONGER!" she yelled!

Well, she had to start somewhere. It would be a good idea to start apologizing to everyone. Start anew, she supposed.

Who would she start with?

She could start with…everyone, actually.

--

"I'm sorry, minna-san. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't believe you."

"That's ok, Mikan," Anna said nicely.

"How can you be so accepting? I hurt you guys so much and you treat it as if it were nothing!" she burst out.

She ran away- far, far, away; somewhere in the forest.

Somehow, who knows what possessed him, Natsume ran after her.

"Damn that Polka," he thought. "Where could she be?"

Mikan was actually bruised and bleeding, lying on the forest floor.

After endless wandering around, Natsume actually found her.

"Mikan. Mikan. MIKAN!" he yelled as he tried to shake her awake.

He felt her pulse. Still beating, he observed. He sighed in relief. Finally, she awoke.

"….Natsume," she murmured.

"What happened to you," he asked.

She didn't reply.

"Mikan, Mikan, don't fall asleep," he yelled, scared that she might die. She looked very scary, with blood squirting everywhere.

"Mikan, I love you!" he yelled.

"I'm sorry, Natsume, but I'm not sure if I can accept your feelings yet." She murmured, just as she passed cold, and the world turned black.

"I'll wait, Mikan. I'll wait, until you can tell me you love me." He said, but she was already gone.

--

Japanese romaji – Italics

English – Bold and Italic

Regular Speaking – Regular

(A/N- Listen to Flavor of Life by Utada Hikaru here! It's a really really good song and really fits with this mood. Sorry if the translation, lyrics aren't correct. I just searched them and got them from a website. Well, you get the point, anyways. So listen to it! It's an awesome song from Hana Yori Dango 2, which is a great drama btw!)

Natsume picked her up, bridal style, carrying her back to the hospital. He didn't understand why. Nande? He thought she loved him back.

_Arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai_

_**When you say thank you to me, for some reason it hurts,**_

_sayonara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai__**  
Like a magic spell that doesn't get undone even after the goodbye; a hint of bitterness**_

_The flavor of life__**  
The flavor of life.**_

"Maybe he had ignored her for too long." He thought guiltily. "He had been so mean and cruel. He didn't deserve such an innocent girl such as her."

_--_

_tomodachi demo koibito demo nai chuukan chiten de_

_**Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers**_

_  
shuukaku no hi wo yumemiteru aoi furu-tsu_

_**like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest**_

_  
ato ippo ga fumidasenai sei de_

_**because of being unable to move just one more step**_

_  
jirettai no nan notte? baby_

_**what's causing this frustration baby**_

Finally Mikan awoke. She felt sore and stiff, and tried to recall the memory of what happened in the forest.

_Flashback – _**(A/N- about the italics, here this is regular speaking, stuff. )**

"_I'm sorry, minna-san. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't believe you."_

"_That's ok, Mikan," Anna said nicely. _

"_How can you be so accepting? I hurt you guys so much and you treat it as if it were nothing!" she burst out._

_She ran away- far, far, away; somewhere in the forest._

_She kept running. How could they be so forgiving? She had hurt them so much!_

_Somehow, who knows what possessed him, Natsume ran after her. _

"_Damn that Polka," he thought. "Where could she be?"_

_Mikan was actually bruised and bleeding, lying on the forest floor. _

_After endless wandering around, Natsume actually found her._

"_Mikan. Mikan. MIKAN!" he yelled as he tried to shake her awake. _

_He felt her pulse. Still beating, he observed. He sighed in relief. Finally, she awoke._

"…_.Natsume," she murmured._

"_What happened to you," he asked._

_She didn't reply._

"_Mikan, Mikan, don't fall asleep," he yelled, scared that she might die. She looked very scary, with blood squirting everywhere._

"_Mikan, I love you!" he yelled._

"_I'm sorry, Natsume, but I'm not sure if I can accept your feelings yet." She murmured, just as she passed cold, and the world turned black._

_End flashback_

_arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai_

_**When you say thank you to me, for some reason it hurts**_

_  
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai_

_**Like a magic spell that doesn't get undone even after the last goodbye**_

_**A hint of bitterness.**_

_  
The flavor of life._

_**The flavor of life. **_

She felt so confused. She knew that before, she had loved Natsume, but was that true now? Would he just hurt her more? Would he ignore her? She didn't know, and she didn't know if she wanted to take the chance, to be hurt again.

_amai dake no sasoi monku ajike no nai doku_

_**Sweet talk and tasteless conversations**__  
sonna mono ni wa kyoumi wa sosorarenai_

_**It sparks no interest in me**_

_itoori ni ikanai toki datte_

_**Even when things do not go the way you want**_

_insei suteta mon janai tte_

_**It doesn't mean you've thrown your life away.**_

Life was just so, confusing. She had many things on her mind – Hotaru, Natsume, and more.

_doushita no? to kyuu ni kikareru to "uun. nandemo nai"_

_**When asked "what's wrong?", I answer "it's nothing."**_

The days past slowly as the thoughts rushed through her mind. She spent the time in bed alone, allowing no visitors, allowing herself to sink deeper into isolation.

_  
sayounara no ato ni kieru egao watashi rashikunai_

_**The smile that disappears after goodbye- It's unlike me. **_

_  
sinjitai to negaeba negau hodo nandaka setsunai_

_**The more I wish to believe in you, for some reason it hurts even more. **_

_  
"aishiteru yo" yori mo "daisuki" no hou ga kimi rashii janai?_

"_**I like you a lot" instead of "I love you" sounds more like you**_

_  
The flavor of life_

_**The flavor of life. **_

Did he really mean it? Or was he just fooling with her?

She remembered the times he had kissed her, once by accident, another not.

Why? Did he really love her?

_wasurekakete ita hito no omoi wo totsuzen omoidasu koro_

_**The period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you almost forgot**_

_  
furitsumoru yuki no shirosa wo omou to sunao ni yorokobitai yo_

_**I want o be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow.**_

_daiyamondo yorimo yawarakakute atatakana mirai_

_**A future tenderer and warmer than a diamond**_

_  
teni shitai yo kagiri aru jikan wo kimi to sugoshitai_

_**I want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, I want to spend it with you.**_

Finally, Mikan was well enough to be able to get out of the hospital.

On the way out, she saw Ruka-pyon.

"Ohayo Ruka-pyon," she called faintly.

"Ohayo Sakura-san," he replied.

"Oh you don't have to call me that Ruka-pyon. We've known each other for five years already."

"H-hai."

He seemed very nervous, she wondered why.

"E-eto, M-m-mikan,"

"Hai?" she answered.

"I think I'm in love with you."

_  
"arigatou" to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai_

_**When you say thank you to me, for some reason it hurts**_

_  
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai_

_**Like a magic spell that doesn't get undone even after the goodbye**_

_**A hint of bitterness**_

_  
The flavor of life_

_**The flavor of life. **_

* * *

**Busy, busy, BUSY chapter! Soo..did anyone notice that Serpona can be scrambled to Persona?They act alike too. HINT HINT! Foreshadowing for later chapter. So Hotaru is really in for some trouble. And why did Mikan suddenly regain her memories? WHo will she choose, Ruka or Natsume?**

**Find out next chapter!**

(i sound like an overexcited advertisement announcer person!)**Who likes Hana Yori Dango 1 & 2? Review or PM me to talk about it! GO TSUKUSHI! ****Who likes Flavor of Life by Utada Hikaru? Review or PM me to rant about its awesomeness! w00T!****Anyways, please review.****Ja ne, ****omgwho.amiagain**


	9. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! I'm here with another chapter. It's not that great, well I think. I just wanted to get it out. Sry, it's sorta short this time. So since school has started, I'll try my best to update about once a week. **

**THANK YOU REVIEWERS! I'm quite pleased! :**

**Thank you **chris3169512 **for reading it first, but...not...editing it? because there weren't any problems with it...? twitch twitch**

**TO my wonderful reviewers -**

chris3169512 - yes i reached my goal ! woot! but...sry i think its because i had a memory overload and ff didnt save it.

Gixie - yea sry, its gonna be a NxM, but you will see some RxM first.

dominiqueanne - i know :

xSapphirexRosesxFanx - i know they belong together, but sadly, at least for now, thats not the way things turn out.

littleazngirl24 - OMG A HYD FAN TOO ! W00T! xD I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE DRAMA, LOVE THE SONG! xD Tsukushi has an awesome punch! :

**To a person who reviewed in Ch. 7**

XKasumiX - thx :

**Thank you to all those who faved/put this story on story alert. **

**On and on we go! **

**Disclaimer - I do not own Gakuen Alice. **

* * *

**Last Chapter -**

_"H-hai." She murmured._

_"Good. You did not try to resist."_

_"I have to do this for them," she thought. "I have to…"_

_"Very good. Escort her to the training grounds. Your training instructor will meet you there."_

_"Ohayo. I am Serpona. Do 15 laps around the field."_

_--_

_Mikan blinked. Suddenly, that empty spot seemed to be coming back to her. In the blink of an eye, she **remembered. **Everything._

_Memories flashed back to her._

_--_

_"Mikan, I love you!" he yelled._

_"I'm sorry, Natsume, but I'm not sure if I can accept your feelings yet." She murmured, just as she passed cold, and the world turned black._

_"I'll wait, Mikan. I'll wait, until you can tell me you love me." He said, but she was already gone._

_--_

_furitsumoru yuki no shirosa wo omou to sunao ni yorokobitai yo_

**_I want o be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow._**

_daiyamondo yorimo yawarakakute atatakana mirai_

**_A future tenderer and warmer than a diamond_**

_teni shitai yo kagiri aru jikan wo kimi to sugoshitai_

**_I want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, I want to spend it with you._**

_Finally, Mikan was well enough to be able to get out of the hospital._

_On the way out, she saw Ruka-pyon._

_"Ohayo Ruka-pyon," she called faintly._

_"Ohayo Sakura-san," he replied._

_"Oh you don't have to call me that Ruka-pyon. We've known each other for five years already."_

_"H-hai."_

_He seemed very nervous, she wondered why._

_"E-eto, M-m-mikan,"_

_"Hai?" she answered._

_"I think I'm in love with you."_

_"arigatou" to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai_

**_When you say thank you to me, for some reason it hurts_**

_sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai_

**_Like a magic spell that doesn't get undone even after the goodbye_**

**_A hint of bitterness_**

_The flavor of life_

**_The flavor of life. _**

**_--_**

**(A/N – Listen to Shine Away by Anna Nalick here.) **

She just felt so confused, so helpless.

**Oh the night makes you a star  
And it holds you cold in its arms  
You're the one to whom nobody verses I love you  
**

Which would she choose, the guy she had loved since forever but had always been mean and cruel to her and hurt her, or the guy who had been so nice and polite ever since she came to the school?

**Unless you say it first  
So you lie there holding your breath  
And its strange how soon you forget **

Some people might say the nice guy. Some people might say the guy she had loved since forever. Well, for her, **she didn't know! **

**That you're like stars  
They only show up when it's dark  
Cause they don't know their worth**

She felt unsure, and wondered if she could actually offer such a tender and fragile thing such as her heart to any of those guys. Did she even have to choose one of them?

**And I think you need to stop following misery's lead  
Shine away shine away shine away  
Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are  
We're all waiting  
Waiting on your supernova  
Cause that's who you are  
And you've only begun to shine  
**

So many questions such as these popped up into her head.

It might be easier to choose the predictable, nice guy. But in the long run, it might be better to choose the less predictable, guy that she had loved forever. She would never get bored, that's one thing for sure.

**There are times when the poets and pornstars align and  
You won't know who to believe in  
Well that's a good time to be leavin'  
And the past knocks on your door  
And throws stones at your window at 4 in the morning  
Well maybe he thinks it's romantic  
He's crazy but you knew that before  
**

_What exactly did she want? _

What kind of guy was her type, anyways? Did Sakura Mikan actually have a type? Did she need a type?

**And I think you need to stop following misery's lead  
Shine away Shine away Shine away  
Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are  
We're all waiting  
Waiting on your supernova  
Cause that's who you are  
And you've only begun to shine  
**

Her mind swarmed with even more questions.

Did she want _Natsume, _the guy who had always teased her since age 10? The one that she had gone through so much with, or did she want _Ruka, _the always polite guy?

**Yeah you've only begun to shine  
Won't you shine shine shine shine over shadow  
Shine shine shine shine over shadow  
Shine shine shine shine over  
**

She thought of times when Natsume peeked at her panties, made her mad, and said mean things to her.

**And I think you need to stop following misery's lead  
Shine away Shine away Shine away  
Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are  
We're all waiting  
Waiting on your supernova  
Cause that's who you are  
And you've only begun to shine  
**

"_No._" she thought.

Of course not.

**Yeah you've only begun to shine  
Yeah you've only begun to shine  
Yeah you've only begun to shine**

She sighed.

Ruka it would be.

--

Natsume's POV

He lay under their sakura tree, face covered by a manga. He was awaiting her answer.

--

"Ruka, I love you too."

"Hontoni?"

"Yes."

And he leaned in to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, but she turned away.

"G-g-gomennasai," she apologized. "I'm just not ready for it yet."

"It's ok," he replied. "I will wait forever for you."

--

Natsume's POV

Natsume sat under the sakura tree. This was the third day since he confessed to her. He had waited there day and night, and had gone without food.

He gasped.

He watched as his best friend and his love, walked together, hand in hand.

_So this was her answer?_

**(A/N – Listen to Never Alone by Barlow Girl here.)**

I waited for you today

I waited for you. Day and Night.

But you didn't show  
No no no  
I needed You today  
So where did You go?  
You told me to call

But you never showed. You just went with Ruka instead. I guess you don't love me. You'd rather be with Ruka. Ruka, that idiot. He knows I love you, but he went ahead and confessed after I already did. He knew I confessed, yet he went ahead and did it. I know he likes you, but I know he loves someone else even more. You'll only hurt him, and he'll only hurt you too._  
_

Said You'd be there  
And though I haven't seen You  
Are You still there?

I thought you loved me, Mikan. But if you will be happy with Ruka, I will let it be that way.

Chorus:  
I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel You by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here and I"m never alone

Because I love you. Because I want you to be happy. If me being with you will only cause you misery and pain, I won't be with you.

And though I cannot see You  
And I can't explain why  
Such a deep, deep reassurance  
You've placed in my life

I'll give it all up for you.

_  
We cannot separate  
'Cause You're part of me  
And though You're invisible  
I'll trust the unseen  
_

Just, please be happy.

_  
Chorus_

_I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel You by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here and I"m never alone._

_  
We cannot separate  
You're part of me  
And though You're invisible  
I'll trust the unseen__  
_

_Chorus_

_I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel You by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here and I"m never alone._

**Just please, be happy. Be happy.**

--

Natsume's POV

He lay under their sakura tree, face covered by a manga. He was awaiting her answer.

--

"Ruka, I love you too."

"Hontoni?"

"Yes."

And he leaned in to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, but she turned away.

"G-g-gomennasai," she apologized. "I'm just not ready for it yet."

"It's ok," he replied. "I will wait forever for you."

--

Natsume's POV

Natsume sat under the sakura tree. This was the third day since he confessed to her. He had waited there day and night, and had gone without food.

He gasped.

He watched as his best friend and his love, walked together, hand in hand.

_So this was her answer?_

**(A/N – Listen to Never Alone by Barlow Girl here.)**

I waited for you today

I waited for you. Day and Night.

But you didn't show  
No no no  
I needed You today  
So where did You go?  
You told me to call

But you never showed. You just went with Ruka instead. I guess you don't love me. You'd rather be with Ruka. Ruka, that idiot. He knows I love you, but he went ahead and confessed after I already did. He knew I confessed, yet he went ahead and did it. I know he likes you, but I know he loves someone else even more. You'll only hurt him, and he'll only hurt you too._  
_

Said You'd be there  
And though I haven't seen You  
Are You still there?

I thought you loved me, Mikan. But if you will be happy with Ruka, I will let it be that way.

Chorus:  
I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel You by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here and I"m never alone

Because I love you. Because I want you to be happy. If me being with you will only cause you misery and pain, I won't be with you.

And though I cannot see You  
And I can't explain why  
Such a deep, deep reassurance  
You've placed in my life

I'll give it all up for you.

_  
We cannot separate  
'Cause You're part of me  
And though You're invisible  
I'll trust the unseen  
_

Just, please be happy.

_  
Chorus_

_I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel You by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here and I"m never alone._

_  
We cannot separate  
You're part of me  
And though You're invisible  
I'll trust the unseen__  
_

_Chorus_

_I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel You by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here and I"m never alone._

**Just please, be happy. Be happy. **

* * *

**So how was it? Please review! Sry, sorta short, but I want to get this out, mk? **

omgwho.amiagain


	10. Chapter 9

**Ok, I know you guys are going to kill me. I haven't updated in... 5 weeks. Wow. Schoolwork can really kill me. The first week, I was just lazy, so you can go and blame me for that. The other three weeks, I worked myself to death. Then I got sick. And...I'm still sick. Woot. Well, our school is weird and gives Columbus Day off, so here's a chapter for all of you.**

**TY to all my reviewers and shokolatte for helping me decide on which beginning for this ch. See I wrote two different beginnings when I was in different moods, mad and sad. Eh, I'm a pretty moody person. **

**Sorry, chris3169512, you didn't edit it! Well you were off playing piano... and I'm too impatient to wait anyways.. ;p**

chris3169512- really? ehh.

dominiqueanne- she'll end up w/ him eventually, it's just meant to be

bunny.kun - xD i finally did.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. **

* * *

**Last Chapter:**

Which would she choose, the guy she had loved since forever but had always been mean and cruel to her and hurt her, or the guy who had been so nice and polite ever since she came to the school?

Did she want Natsume, the guy who had always teased her since age 10? The one that she had gone through so much with, or did she want Ruka, the always polite guy?

_Did she want Natsume, the guy who had always teased her since age 10? The one that she had gone through so much with, or did she want Ruka, the always polite guy?_

"_No." she thought. _

_Of course not._

_--_

"_Ruka, I love you too."_

"_Hontoni?"_

"_Yes."_

_Because I love you. Because I want you to be happy. If me being with you will only cause you misery and pain, I won't be with you.  
_

**Just please, be happy. Be happy. **

* * *

Weeks past as she and Ruka celebrated their newfound relationship. Sure, it was great, but she felt as if _it was ripping her apart. _She was growing farther and farther away from her friends, and more importantly, Natsume. Ruka was really cute and sweet, but he had this inner…spirit that seemed so demanding. It felt as if she didn't spend every second with him, he would become that fierce tiger inside him and roar. Yes. Roar. Ok, maybe not. What was she thinking? "That fierce tiger inside him and roar?"

"Haha." She thought. "Very funny."

Still, she felt as if she had gone into this relationship **way too fast**, before she even felt ready. Ruka was undoubtedly sweet, saying "I love you," every night, hugging her, and giving her a small kiss on the cheek. But they never **really talked. **

"What was a real relationship?" she thought.

She had pictured it as a closeness of a sort; one who you would share every secret with, laugh at inside jokes, and have wonderful memories with. Then again, what was love? Real love? She meant. It was so overused and wasn't given enough credit anymore. Love was supposed to be an intense feeling, filling you up, but also tearing you apart at the same time. At least, that's what the cheesy romance novels said. **(A/N: LOL) **Oh well, screw these corny, "romantic" thoughts.

With Ruka, it didn't feel like love. She just imagined these corny horrible "romantic" thoughts, and blushed a lot. Yeah blushing. Well she did a lot of that. It seemed it was nothing but for her "friends" to squeal over the endless cuteness. Yeah, cuteness. Ugh, she was so mad now that she would scream and tear any pink little tutu in sight! When he asked her to the dance, what had it been but a crowd of gossip-hungry girls half attacking and half squealing at the "romance" of it.

Flashback :

"_Well, Mikan, you know about that dance coming up five months from now, right?" asked Ruka softly. _

"_Mhm."_

"_Well, will you go with me to the dance?"_

"_Yes." _

_And the crowd cheered._

-End Flashback-

Happy after ending right? Sooo not. What kind of person asked a girl to the dance FIVE MONTHS ahead? Sometimes she just really wanted to kill him for his stupidity.

She regretted it now.

He was hopeless at conversations, too. This was how they went:

"Sooooo, what's up?"

"Uhmm, nothing much. You?"

"Same."

"Soooooo, uhhh what do you want to talk about?"

"Uhh I don't know, what do you want to talk about."

"Uhh, you decide."

"Ohhh, you decide."

Hopeless, right. Oh and the other half of the time was bad-talking about teachers and school and life.

Who even knew Ruka had this side to him?

The cute little hugs, and the polite little laughs, it was killing her. She just couldn't take it anymore. She no longer had a life…

**Ruka's POV**

He had it all. All going for him. No more being Natsume's little sidekick, that's right.

It was always "Natsume this," "Natsume that."

**He was so going to get him back for this. **

He didn't even like Mikan. That's right. He didn't even like her. He was just using her. Using her to get what he wanted.

He didn't care. They all thought he was weak and useless, and just cute and to be looked at.

_Well they were wrong. _

He would show them.

Mikan believed he was hopeless, but was realizing that she should dump him. He could feel it. Well, he would show her. He would make her scared of him…

**Natsume's POV**

He felt so betrayed. In his heart, he knew he should do something, but he couldn't. He wanted to help her. He could tell she wasn't getting what she deserved. Ruka was so hopeless. He hadn't talked to his best friend in ages. What was going on with him?

He needed to help her, but he couldn't.

He had to respect his best friend, even if it felt as if his best friend had ditched him.

**End Natsume's POV**

Somewhere out there, and mysterious dark shadow lurked in a corner, smirking.

"Everything is going all up to plan…"

**Hotaru's POV**

Hotaru panted as sweat rolled down her face in streams of icky fluid.

She felt exhausted. She was dying.

"Drip, drop," the sweatdrops rolled, as she unsuccessfully tried to wipe them all off.

"NO TIME FOR PETTY FACE CLEANING! 15 LAPS! GO!" the loud, unfeminine voice sounded.

Serpona was not a force to be reckoned with.

She was a bad, crazy lady, with menacing looks, and _scary _muscles.

She was being worked like hell.

She panted as she finished with her laps.

"1000 PUSHUPS! GO!"

"1, 2, 3….997,998,999, Done! Finally!" she chanted.

"This wasn't even half of her **warmup**," she thought.

She continued on to her situps, she knew the drill.

"STOP!" commanded booming Serpona.

"I have a mission for you tonight. It's practice for later. Here's the mission info."

Name: Sato Tama

_Gender: Female_

_Occupation: CEO of Shiseido_

_Appearance: Short, Curly Hair, Too Much Makeup, Short, Stout stature _

_Height: 1.53 metres_

_Weight: 72.7 kg_

_Eye Color: Black_

_Hair Color: Black_

_Income: 800,000 a year_

_Place of Residence: Kanto region_

_Mission assigned to: Amethyst Eyes, aka Imai Hotaru_

_Directions:_

_Sneak into Ms. Sato's house, and go into her office, and steal a blue box, hidden in the top right drawer of her desk. Be sure not to get caught. We have included a map for you. _

"I got it." Hotaru said coldly.

She put on her mission clothes and mask and headed down. She slipped quietly in the car, and an aura of purple emission seemed to surround her.

She had to do this, for her friends. Even if they didn't think she was their friend anymore, to her, they were. She couldn't let them get hurt. Even if she was on the wrong side, even if this went against all of her GA pride and beliefs.

She arrived at the house. It was tall, and big, and white, and had…wait…camels?

The house was enormous, shaped in a Victorian style. The grounds stretched farther than she could see, but as far as she saw, she saw…camels. Every inch was covered in camels. That's right. Camels. Who would like those smelly beasts? It seriously stunk.

She carefully scaled the tall black gates, and slipped into a discarded maid uniform in one of the garden sheds. Hopefully, she would pass for one.

She walked inconspicuously, pretending to be in a hurry, clearly having something important to do.

She tried not to barf as she walked past the many camels, and… wait…apparently that was Ms. Sato…

Ms. Sato had horribly styled, old lady curly hair, and skin that looked like it had gone through plastic surgery, far too many times.

Her clothing taste was **bad**…and so was her makeup, despite being the CEO of Shiseido. I mean, wouldn't you think the owner of Shiseido would have some fashion sense?

Who dressed up in a purple, pink, blue, green, yellow, and dark brown spotted shirt and orange and black striped, way too long, pants. Oh, wait. The brown spots were from camel poop. Eghh.

And there she was, hugging a camel like it was the end of the world, and she would never let go. Didn't people have any regular pets these days?

"You'll always love Mommy, right Carter-poo?" she sang lovingly as she stroked it's smelly hair.

Even the camel seemed uncomfortable.

Wait…onto the mission. This didn't seem hard at all.

In no time, she finished the mission.

This stuff was easy…

* * *

**Alright, I finally updated... So how was it? Drama-y and sad in the beginning, more humorous in the end. **

**See you next chapter! I have a huge huge huge bunch of updated stories to read in my inbox... lol**

**omgwho.amiagain**


	11. Chapter 10

**So sorry, everyone, for not updating in like 2 months. I don't really have much of an excuse, just that I've been buys lately. Now that I'm on winter break though, I plan to update more. **

**I accidentally submitted the unedited chapter, so this is why you may have gotten 2 updates. **

**Thank you to chris(3169512 - nooo i hate typing those numbers out) so much for helping edit my story(and help me in all the places where i forgot to press enter) **

**shokolatte- it's n x m btw, i have finally updated!**

**chris- thank you very much, sorry just don't feel like writing all the numbers (oops i mean typing)**

**- exactly .**

**littleazngirl - not really soon, but better late than never **

* * *

Last Chapter:

_Weeks past as she and Ruka celebrated their newfound relationship. Sure, it was great, but she felt as if it was ripping her apart. She was growing farther and farther away from her friends, and more importantly, Natsume. Ruka was really cute and sweet, but he had this inner…spirit that seemed so demanding. It felt as if she didn't spend every second with him, he would become that fierce tiger inside him and roar. Yes. Roar. Ok, maybe not. What was she thinking? "That fierce tiger inside him and roar?"_

_--_

"_What was a real relationship?" she thought. _

_--_

_What a typical happily ever after ending, right? Sooo not. What kind of person asked a girl to the dance FIVE MONTHS ahead? Sometimes she just really wanted to kill him for his stupidity. _

_She regretted it now. _

_He was hopeless at conversations, too. This was how they went:_

_The cute little hugs, and the polite little laughs, it was killing her. She just couldn't take it anymore. She no longer had a life…_

_--_

_Well they were wrong. _

_He would show them. _

_Mikan believed he was hopeless, but was realizing that she should dump him. He could feel it. Well, he would show her. He would make her scared of him…_

_--_

_She tried not to barf as she walked past the many camels, and… wait…apparently that was Ms. Sato…_

_Ms. Sato had horribly styled, old lady curly hair, and skin that looked like it had gone through plastic surgery, far too many times. _

_Her clothing taste was bad…and so was her makeup, despite being the CEO of Shiseido. I mean, wouldn't you think the owner of Shiseido would have some fashion sense? _

_Who dressed up in a purple, pink, blue, green, yellow, and dark brown spotted shirt and orange and black striped, way too long, pants. Oh, wait. The brown spots were from camel poop. Eghh._

_And there she was, hugging a camel like it was the end of the world, and she would never let go. Didn't people have any regular pets these days?_

"_You'll always love Mommy, right Carter-poo?" she sang lovingly as she stroked its smelly hair._

_--_

Report to AAO by Luna

Ruka starts being abusive

Hotaru can't take it anymore

"Ohayo, Reo-kun. Miss Luna here to report, of course. "

"Yes, Lunaaaaa-chan?" he drawled out her name.

"Mhm, well, a group of Sakura Mikan's old friends, which I had brainwashed against her has discovered the truth about me. Luckily, everyone else is under control, so they can't do anything about it. However, I no longer am controlling Sakura Mikan; she seems to be nullifying me now."

"That's good, but not good, but it's ok, babe. We have captured Imai Hotaru, Sakura Mikan's ex-best friend, and are forcing her to work for us. Expect her to work alongside you as a spy in a couple months. "

Luna grimaced a little as she thought of the violet-haired inventor.

"Perfect. I'll be seeing you soon then, baby?" she struggled to say.

"Of course," he grinned.

--

Even though he wanted Mikan to be happy, he still missed her. Though she understood the reasons that they had all been controlled by that evil Koizumi bitch, she still did not talk to him. Ever since his confession, and of course, his mindwash, they had grown farther and farther away from each other. That incident in the forest, which he himself, one who was far away from romantic fantasies, considered to be quite, well, romantic.

Flashback:

"_I'm sorry, minna-san. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't believe you."_

"_That's ok, Mikan," Anna said nicely. _

"_How can you be so accepting? I hurt you guys so much, and you treat it as if it were nothing!" she burst out._

_She ran away- far, far, away; somewhere in the forest._

_She kept running. How could they be so forgiving? She had hurt them so much!_

_Somehow, who knows what possessed him, Natsume ran after her. _

"_Damn that Polka," he thought. "Where could she be?"_

_Mikan was actually bruised and bleeding, lying on the forest floor. _

_After endless wandering around, Natsume actually found her._

"_Mikan. Mikan. MIKAN!" he yelled as he tried to shake her awake. _

_He felt her pulse. Still beating, he observed. He sighed in relief. Finally, she awoke._

"…_Natsume," she murmured._

"_What happened to you," he asked._

_She didn't reply._

"_Mikan, Mikan, don't fall asleep," he yelled, scared that she might die. She looked very scary, with blood squirting everywhere._

"_Mikan, I love you!" he yelled._

"_I'm sorry, Natsume, but I'm not sure if I can accept your feelings yet." She murmured, just as she passed cold, and the world turned black._

End Flashback

"**I'm sorry, Natsume, but I'm not sure if I can accept your feelings yet."**

The words stung, even now. Time had passed, and as there was only time to heal his broken heart, he did have to have a little faith in himself.

Flashback:

"_Natsume, how can you be so inconsiderate and uncaring? Mikan has liked you since we were 10! And this is the kind of thanks you give her? We need to save her from the darkness!"_

End Flashback

After all, Anna had told him that Mikan had liked him since they were ten. Some part of him knew, or at least wished that she still did. What had caused her to go and have a change of heart? Bitterly, he thought back and remembered his traitor friend, Ruka. Their friendship had been torn apart, ever since Ruka went off and claimed _his _girl. Ruka had known how much Natsume liked Mikan, and yet, he seemed to have no respect for their friendship.

Though Natsume deeply cared for Mikan, and wanted her to just be happy, he didn't believe that true happiness would be found (for Mikan) with Ruka.

Images of the forest scene flashed through his eyes, and memories of the winter ball, too.

He deserved Mikan as well.

And yet, love just has to be so cruel.

--

"Hey baby," Ruka grinned, as he met her in front of her house.

"Hey," she replied sweetly.

She dressed nicely for their date, in a casual but pretty way, wearing a yellow sunflower print dress.

"I'll be taking you somewhere tonight."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a secret." He whispered in her ear as he covered her eyes.

"Tell me!"

"No. Come on, get into my car, ok?"

"Walk straight… step down…" he said as he opened the car door.

She sat down and put on her seatbelt while he closed the door.

"Keep your eyes closed!" he exclaimed.

The drive was still and calm.

"Open your eyes!" he shouted exuberantly.

The sign read Gakuen Alice Amusement Park. A smile immediately lit up her face.

"Where do you want to go first?"

"THAT ONE!" she pointed to a roller coaster called, 'The Grizzly'.

'The Grizzly' was a brown, wooden roller coaster. There were huge drops and turns all around it. The line was tiny, amazingly, and so they rushed immediately to the coaster.

After getting checked by the attendants, the ride sped off as they headed into a deep, dark tunnel. It was black, and suddenly, there was a drop. Mikan squeezed her eyes tight and clung tightly to the bar as they dropped. Sweat dripped off her face. They zoomed through the ride in about one minute, and finally, they were done. Mikan could open her eyes now.

"That was fun! Can we do it again?"

"Are you kidding me? You're the one who was just closing her eyes and screaming and clinging tightly to the seatbelt bar!"

However, he obliged, but not without seeing their pictures first.

In the picture, he had a smile on his face, while she, squished on the other side, was squeezing her eyes tight, clinging tightly to the bar, and perspiring deeply from every pore. Her face was light purple, her lips were dark, and every inch of her face was squished together in concentration.

The picture was, surprisingly, _hilarious. _

"How can you even be smiling after _that?" _

"How can you be so scared? It wasn't even scary!"

"You're just a freak of nature!"

His eyes squeezed hard together for a second, and his eyebrows rose up. He lifted his hand in a single, flashing motion as if he were about to slap her. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, it was gone.

"Must have been my imagination," she thought.

--

Somehow, Natsume had been forced into attending this stupid amusement park thing. Sumire, being unbelievably annoying, had bugged him to death's end about attending some one-day only event.

Natsume Hyuuga, normally didn't do amusement parks. It was a brilliant sunny day. The sky was just the right shade of blue, and there were just the right amount of clouds in the air.

The only problem was that he couldn't get any damn peace in this stupid place. The bright lights, loud noises, and little children clearly did not portray an ideal place for relaxation. Oh, and did he mention the idiotic green-haired girl which he had to go with?

If it was with Mikan, it'd be a different story…

Well, actually, if he was with Mikan, he wouldn't get any peace either…

Just as he got up to ditch the annoying girl, he accidentally tripped on her odd leg, crushing her with his weight, and making him land on top of her, in…such a suggesting position.

He looked up, and you would not believe who he saw.

--

After they rode 'The Grizzly' about 10 times, Mikan finally decided it was time to try something new.

She felt a bit hungry, so she asked Ruka, and so they decided to go to the ice cream parlor. Walking there, she saw the strangest sight.

Natsume, on top of Permy, looking like he was about to kiss her?

She stared and he stared back, just as crimson met honey.

"Seriously," she thought, "in public?"

"Too much PDA there."

Still, it troubled her that Natsume had gotten over her so quickly. Her throat grew dry, and she burned of jealousy, even though she didn't realize it. She thought back to the forest scene, of when he confessed to her.

_I'm sorry, minna-san. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't believe you."_

"_That's ok, Mikan," Anna said nicely. _

"_How can you be so accepting? I hurt you guys so much and you treat it as if it were nothing!" she burst out._

_She ran away- far, far, away; somewhere in the forest._

_She kept running. How could they be so forgiving? She had hurt them so much!_

_Somehow, who knows what possessed him, Natsume ran after her. _

"_Damn that Polka," he thought. "Where could she be?"_

_Mikan was actually bruised and bleeding, lying on the forest floor. _

_After endless wandering around, Natsume actually found her._

"_Mikan. Mikan. MIKAN!" he yelled as he tried to shake her awake. _

_He felt her pulse. Still beating, he observed. He sighed in relief. Finally, she awoke._

"…_.Natsume," she murmured._

"_What happened to you," he asked._

_She didn't reply._

"_Mikan, Mikan, don't fall asleep," he yelled, scared that she might die. She looked very scary, with blood squirting everywhere._

"_Mikan, I love you!" he yelled._

"_I'm sorry, Natsume, but I'm not sure if I can accept your feelings yet." She murmured, just as she passed cold, and the world turned black._

Really, what had she been thinking of at that time? Was it that she had been just scared?

"What are you thinking about?!" she asked herself anxiously. "How can you be thinking of Natsume when you are already with Ruka? Ruka has been so good to you, how can you be thinking such treacherous thoughts, you evil girl!"

"It was too late, anyways. He was already with Sumire, and she wished the best for her green-haired ex-friend."

"Hey Mikan? What are you thinking about?" asked the clueless Ruka. "Are you seriously still thinking about what ice cream flavor you want to get?"

"What? Oh yeah, yeah. Silly me. I just can't decide on what ice cream flavor to get. Chocolate or vanilla, chocolate or vanilla, it's so hard to pick!"

"Are you serious? Those are the only two ice cream flavors there are there!"

"But I just can't choose…"

"Fine, you can have both."

"Hontoni? Arigato, Ruka-pyon!"

It was times like this that made her so grateful for Ruka and feel so guilty for thinking about Natsume.

--

He swore he would kill that annoying green-haired girl. She probably stuck out her foot on purpose! After finally ditching her, he scrambled to find some kind of quiet place in which he could think. Finally finding a dirty spot behind an abandoned food wagon, he sat down.

It seemed like he had no chance in getting Mikan anymore. After seeing that scene, she probably thought that he was now with Sumire.

Feeling depressed, he moped and kicked around some rocks, unconsciously tracing things around in the soil with his wandering finger. He supposed he should try to get forget Mikan after all. Things were looking rather dark for him.

Just as he told himself he would get over her, he looked down, only to see the words _Mikan _traced in the soil, because of his wandering finger.

"Damn," he thought.

Now, abandoning his sad try at forgetting her, he proceeded to think of random things, until he suddenly saw two figures near the barnyard.

Creeping closer, he tried to see who it was.

A brunette and a blonde haired couple, could it be them?

"Ahaha, that tickles, stop!" squealed Mikan.

He quickly grimaced at the horrendous images in his mind of whatever Ruka could be doing to her.

"Mikan was _his," _he growled.

Mr. Brightside – The Killers

--

After their "infamous" tickle fight, Mikan and Ruka headed down to the haunted house.

They took one step in, and guess who they saw?

There was a white and black painted clown wearing dark liner and having a very white, pale face. They stared. The clown stared back. They stared. And the clown stared back!

Looking harder into his face, Mikan suddenly saw eyes of malicious intent. The clown suddenly grinned, and tossed his hair back, revealing many Alice Control devices.

"Who did this remind her of," she wondered.

Ruka pointed, stared, and stuttered.

"P-p-p-" he stumbled, legs shaking.

Mikan beckoned for him to go on.

"Persona!" he pointed out with a girlish shriek!

Oh, and you can expect that the two ran. Oh how they ran…

Instead, the two decided to get their faces painted. Mikan got a tangerine on her cheek, and Ruka got a Piyo. It was so nice to see how much he loved that giant chick, right? Next, they went to a petting zoo.

Mikan and Ruka's faces lit up at once. As soon as Ruka walked in the petting zoo, all the animals crowded around him. Imagine that time in Gakuen Alice with Ruka and Piyo. Oh yes, it was just like that.

Along with several furry, soft animals, there was Piyo too!

As their eyes met each other, both of them glowed with delight. One could say that there were hearts in each others eyes.

"I love you, Piyo!" Ruka shouted adoringly, the giant chick spinning him around.

"-chirp chirp chirp chirp-!" echoed the lovestrick chick.

Mikan chuckled at the scene, while trying, but failing, to push Ruka out.

"Ruka, I know you loveeeee Piyo! Look you even got Piyo face painted on you! And I saw the way that you guys look at each other!" Mikan teased after they finally exited the petting zoo.

He ignored her.

"Aw, you're in denial! How cute!"

Slap.

So sudden.

It was just like that.

Hard, cold, and bitter.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized afterward.

Everything seemed normal, and they were quiet and polite once again.

To make it up to her, they shared a passionate embrace before she had to go back home.

Still, she had to wonder, _why?_

She felt cold and small and tiny as if she was trapped in a cage. She was sure he had done it on accident, but she had to wonder…

She was scared…

* * *

**How was it? Did you like it? Hate it? Meh meh? ish? Review plz!**

**For those of you who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays to all!**

**And I might get started with a Christmas themed chapter soon.. but if you review, it will get me off my butt sooner and make me start typing, typing! xD**

**Love, **

**omg . whoamiagain **

* * *


	12. Chapter 11

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Hi everyone. I'm really sorry that I have not updated in so long. It's been almost 6 months. I have nothing to say except that school is really hectic, but now that it is almost over I think that I will have more time to update.

**Thank you Chris (chris3169512) for helping me edit and to both you and shokolatte for bugging me so much. **

**Thank you to all my reviewers. Sorry it's been a long time..**

**Suzuka Harukaza - thank you!**

**littleazngirl24- hm..sorry then. i'll try to make it less confusing. **

**crimsoneyes44**

**xSapphirexRosexFanx - he is :]**

**chris3169512 - well who cares about that! haha. its even later this time. **

**shokolatte- you shall find out!**

**Black-Rabbit921**

**XKasumiX**

Here we go!

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Last Chapter:

Slap.

So sudden.

It was just like that.

Hard, cold, and bitter.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized afterward.

Everything seemed normal, and they were quiet and polite once again.

To make it up to her, they shared a passionate embrace before she had to go back home.

Still, she had to wonder, _why?_

She felt cold and small and tiny as if she was trapped in a cage. She was sure he had done it on accident, but she had to wonder…

She was scared…

--

Thoughts – Regular

Flashback- Italics

Dialogue-Bold

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After nursing her swollen cheek, only a faint red tinge showed. Though it was not a major injury, she still felt the traumatizing affects of that slap. She felt it replaying over and over as if it were a broken tape recorder. Her legs felt numb, and could not hold her weight anymore, as she collapsed hungrily to the ground.

She felt shocked and ashamed of Ruka. He wasn't the same friend she had known.

Life felt dreary and odd nowadays. Hotaru, her ex-best friend, was gone. She was even more isolated from her friends than she had ever been.

At times like these, she really missed Jii-chan.

"Oh, sweet, dear Jii-chan." She thought blissfully, as her mind drifted to her childhood memories. Those days were so innocent, when she had been nothing but a little kid who had missed her best friend, Hotaru, and ventured out into the city to find her.

That adventure, however, had brought her to the strange world of Gakuen Alice. Before, the world AAO had never existed in her mind.

She felt so lonely… She had no friends, no family, no one to talk to… all but her oh-so-loving boyfriend, Ruka, who had just basically beat her up.

Brainwashed by Koizumi, even the teachers at Gakuen Alice were not the same. Narumi, her fatherly figure, had become more estranged from her than ever, and was no longer himself. Using her Nullification Alice, she had kept a clear mind.

Mikan crawled on her bed, on fours, no longer able to walk with her weak, feeble legs. Her stomach churned, and she felt sick from Ruka's actions. Outside of her dorm, rain poured in splattering sounds. The world was gray and dreary, resembling her feelings.

The rain was a strange thing.

It left the world clean and washed away. The bad things were gone, but with it also came the sadness. The rain had always made her nostalgic and sad. Staring at the window unleashed all her memories. And so she stared and thought. It remained that way for hours.

Thoughts rumbled through her head, questions dying to be asked, but of course, none could be answered.

She had never remembered Ruka as a physical type. He had always been tender, loving, and caring, especially with animals. If he was that careful with animals, shouldn't he also be like that to humans? Shouldn't you be more cautious with your own girlfriend?

She didn't understand what had made him lose his temper so badly. All she had done was tease him a little, and he should have known better than to think that she was actually being serious.

It all seemed like a dream, no, a nightmare. If only she could wake up from this mess…

However, she knew it was reality. The feeling of the harsh, cold slap was all that you needed to prove it.

Ruka's POV

Ruka sat on his comfy chair with a mug of coffee, staring at the rain.

The past few weeks had been a dream for him. He had liked Mikan for so many years, but never had the courage to confess his affections to her, because he knew Natsume had always liked her.

Though knowing that Natsume had confessed first, she became his girlfriend. He had been amazed.

However, it seemed that all would be lost. Why had he slapped her? Guilt washed over him, dripping like the rain.

"_She taunted you,"a voice glowered inside his head. _

"No, no," he thought, trying to justify her actions. "She was just teasing me…and she should be allowed to…"

"_No! How dare she taunt the great Nogi Ruka!" the voice refuted. _

"Argh!" he cursed, wondering where such a voice had come from.

Ever since he was little, he had vowed never to abuse his girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. As a child, he had watched uselessly from the sidelines as his father beat up his mother.

"I wasn't able to do anything", he thought regretfully.

Flashback:

_Nogi Ruka is six years old. A bird with a broken wing is in his arms. He watches as his parents argue over him, __**again. **__It is the fifth time this week. _

"_**Why didn't you pick up him from school? I told you that I was far too busy to!" **_

"_**You never pay attention to your son! All you ever do is work, work, work!"**_

"_**The money that I earn supports you! Without me, you would not have food, money, clothes, or a house! Everything you own belongs to me!"**_

"_**Why must I do every single thing? Why must I always listen to you? Am I your servant or something, you selfish, conceited bastard!"**_

"_**What did you say to me?"**_

_-punch-_

"_**Mommy!!" he cried, running to stop his father.**_

"_**Get out of my way, kid!" his father shouted, knocking Ruka aside. **_

"_**I asked, what did you say to me?" he roared. **_

_**She gulped, despairingly, finally being able to stand up to him.**_

"_**I said, 'Am I your servant or something, you selfish, conceited bastard?'" **_

"_**Why, you bitch!"**_

_He punched, and kicked, and threw, but Ruka was helpless to do anything from fear. _

_By the time he was done, she was no longer breathing. Ruka gasped, dialing 911. The paramedics came, but automatically pronounced her dead. _

_He ran crying to the paramedics man. _

"_**Isn't there anything you can do for her?" he begged. **_

"_**Listen, kid. We see this everyday. I'm sorry, but she's dead. I am sorry for your loss."**_

_And he wailed, watching the paramedics drive away. _

End Flashback

Flashback:

It is a week after the incident, and Ruka is at her funeral. It is a small family gathering with only a few members from his mother's side of the family and his father.

_They all are dressed in black, weeping into their soft, ebony handkerchiefs. His father looks solemn, but Ruka knows that he is cursing under his breath. _

"That goddamned bitch, that goddamned bitch!" he hears.

_Everyone thinks that she died from a heart attack. But if they checked closer, they would know that it was improbable for her to have one at such a young age, when she was perfectly healthy and had no family history of heart problems. The bruises and wounds that marked her body were remarkable as well. _

_The priest starts his sermon. _

"**{Ruka's mom} (1) was a good person. She was kind, and gentle, and beautiful in soul. She gave help to those who needed it. She worked hard, and gave love. Let her have her final rest."**

**Father of all mercies and God of all consolation,**

**You pursue us with untiring love**

**And dispel the shadow of death**

**With the bright dawn of life.**

**[Give courage to this family in their loss and sorrow,**

**Be their refuge and strength, O Lord,**

**Reassure them of your continuing love**

**And lift them from the depths of grief**

**Into the peace and light of your prescence.]**

**Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ,**

**By dying has destroyed our death,**

**And by rising, restored our life. **

**Your Holy Spirit, our comforter, speaks for us in groans to deep for words,**

**Come alongside your people,**

**Remind them of your eternal presence**

And give them your comfort and strength

"_**Amen," everyone echoes**__. _

_They all drive home. Ruka is in the car with his father, cradling a ladybug he has found. Unable, to hold his tears in anymore, he bursts out in a wail, mourning. His father dangerously skids to a stop, slapping him. _

"**Get a hold of yourself! There's no need to cry for that bitch. And you! Stop playing with bugs! What is that thing?" **

_Picking the ladybug up, he cruelly throws it out the window, where an unknowing car will undoubtedly crush it. _

_The next day, Ruka gets a letter from Gakuen Alice. He is grateful to leave, though his father mumbles about stupid government-sponsored schools taking away all his tax money. _

End Flashback

End Ruka's POV

Hotaru's POV

They told her to go on a mission to capture some stupid alice stone. The AAO seemed to be all about alice stones. Alice stones and nothing less! However, a mission meant that she was able to get away from their eerie headquarters, and away from the gay guy (or girl?) Serpona. Serpona eerily reminded her of Persona. She wondered if they were siblings…

She thought of Gakuen Alice, and the life she had left behind. She felt sad that Mikan had betrayed her, but in her heart, Mikan was, and always would be, her best friend.

She missed them all dearly. Though she acted cold and indifferent towards them, she loved them. She really did! No one really understood Hotaru as much as Mikan, and she hoped Mikan and the gang was doing well at Gakuen Alice.

She secretly wondered if Koizumi Luna bitch had anything to do with their sudden attitude change.

She doubted it. Koizumi-bitch was probably just a bitch. Nothing more, and nothing less. Anyways, she had to travel to find that alice stone. The mission was supposed to be really hard, and the stone, which could absorb people's alices, was very rare and beautiful.

Outside of the Alice world, they called it the Hope Diamond. It was rumored to be mystical, and every person who had owned it had had bad luck ever since.

It resided at the Smithsonian Museum in Washington. Traveling on her duck, she thought of the obstacles she might anticipate on her mission. It was very likely that there was very heavy security there. She would need to use many of her inventions.

Baka Gun would be sure to be on the list. She studied the map while flying on her duck. Not paying attention to the sky, she crashed into a cloud. How delightful! What a wonderful journey it would be…traveling 6 more hours in sopping wet clothes.

6 HOURS LATER

At midnight, she landed in Washington. In a gas station restroom, she put on her invisibility suit, and armed herself with a baka gun, wings to fly, a lock pick, smoke bombs, gloves that got rid of fingerprints, and data about the Smithsonian's security.

Picking the lock easily, she flew into the Smithsonian, easily undetected, going to the Hope Diamond section. There were a few guards there. She could get past them, easy!

She flew quickly past the unknowing guards.

But little did she know… about the latest installed technology inside the museum. Motion sensors, she hadn't known! And there were traps as well, as she blindly walked right into them, tripping and falling. Her invisibility suit was ripped off, and the guards were fully aware of her now.

Oh shoot! Whatever was she to do? The scene must have looked odd to the guards. A petite teenage girl was caught trying to steal the Hope Diamond! Quickly, they handcuffed her, confiscating her belongings. Luckily, there was one escape for her yet! They hadn't caught on the earrings that the AAO provided. She could contact them later, when she was sure that she would be alone.

She was far too smart for a bunch of security guards. Her eyes glinted, smiling.

END POV

Mikan's POV

Feeling guilty, I rush over to a disgruntled Ruka, ready to apologize for my actions.

"**I'm sorry for teasing you so," I apologize meekly. **

Ensuring privacy, we meet under the willows, where no one can see us.

"You should be sorry, _bitch._" He whispers roughly, jerking my arm so hard that I'm sure his mere touch will leave bruises. Pinning me against the tree, he punches left and right in an angry manner. I feel like a helpless rag doll. Picking me up, he flings me up and down as if I were a toy. All over me, bruises have already begun to form.

Scared, I wonder what he's doing. He apologized before for his behavior, yet he's doing the same thing he did before, but in an even more extreme manner. To me, he is no longer the polite boyfriend I thought he was.

Staring at me blankly, he exclaims with an expression of horror on his face.

"**What have I done…?"**

2 DAYS LATER

Getting out of bed, I struggle, feeling my sore body resist, screaming out in pain. It is decorated lavishly in spots of blue, black, and purple. I am not a pretty sight.

Groaning, I dress in long sleeves and pants, trying to cover up my spots the best I can. Marching over to Central Town, I am determined to have a better day.

Having some coffee, I see Natsume over at the next table.

**Going over to talk to him, I ask, "How are you, Natsume?"**

"**Hn. Polka," he replies wearily. **

"**You know, you really shouldn't call me that anymore. You have Sumire as your girlfriend."**

"**That whore?"**

"**Natsume!" I cry, shocked, "Don't call Sumire such words! You guys are together! I was you two kissing!"**

"**Hn. Bitch pushed herself on top of me."**

"**Don't you love Sumire?"**

"**Hn."**

"**What's that?" he questions, pointing to my arm. **

Looking down, I find that he is pointing to a bruise, revealed by the movements of my hands. Nervously, I stutter.

"**I was, um, clumsy and slipped on my way here."**

Nodding, he seems to accept my excuse, until he notices another bruise at the tip of my collarbone.

"**How did you get that one?"**

"**I…also slipped."**

"**Liar!" he cries, rolling up my sleeves to find a whole chain of bruises. "Who did this to you?"**

"**Tell me, Mikan. It isn't Ruka, right?"**

Nervous, I don't reply.

"**It's not Ruka, right? Right?"**

**Still, there is no reply from me. **

"**It is, isn't it? That bastard!"**

"**Mikan, if I were him…I wouldn't do this to you. I love you. Be with me. He doesn't deserve you…" he whispers into my ear, pulling the blushing me into a delicate embrace, careful not to press too hard onto my bruises. **

I stay in bliss for a few moments, until a familiar blond-haired animal lover strolls into the shop.

Panicked thoughts came flooding into my mind.

"Crap. It was Ruka, alright."

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**1 – Unsure what Ruka's mom's name is**

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**How did you enjoy the story? I don't think this chapter is as good as the last one, despite the {almost} six months. Sorry guys. I'll try harder!**

Review please!

-omg . whoamiagain


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